As an animal communicator it's extremely hard to accept the fact that I am able to connect with all kinds of animals as well as people but this one foster dog, in my care, was absolutely shutting me out from trying to find him. I spent the better part of my morning listening to the negative self talk of my failure, but as each hour passed of the dog being lost in the woods in the fog and rain, I began to feel better and here is why.
My husband told me to share our missing dog on our local Facebook page. My first reaction was, "Oh god, what will people think? I'm an animal communicator that helps others find their lost animals but I can't find my own?" Whoa, talk about ego and imposter syndrome showing up even after you think you have learned that lesson. But I knew he was right. I knew in that moment and the hours to come this was not something I could do on my own. I was too close to the situation and needed help, so I shut down the self talk, removed my ego and posted it on Facebook and within minutes there were dozens of people offering assistance, sharing the post and hopping in their own cars to go out and look. My friends were checking on me to see if I was okay with absolutely no judgement. I started receiving private messages and texts and all of a sudden I was no longer alone in this. I even reached out to CT DOG GONE RECOVERY that I have worked with in the past to help people find their dogs to ask for help and again, no judgement.
Before I knew it over 300 people had shared the post and though there were still no sightings I felt held, supported, seen, and part of something bigger than myself. To witness complete strangers offer of themselves for a person most didn't know and a dog they had never met was both heartwarming and eye opening and all I had to do was ask. It made me realize how many times in my life things could have felt or been easier if I had just asked for assistance. How many times did I push others away or fear asking due to my ego and self talk? The answer? Countless.
Yesterday happened for a reason. It was a lesson that I had not learned yet in my life and this foster pup was the opportunity for me to embody the teaching he offered. To literally ask for help when I need it and trust that it will show up as it's meant to.
You'll be happy to know that this story has a very happy ending with our foster pup after wandering around for twelve hours found his way to a house about a mile away from where we lost him. This beautiful loving family were able to gently coax him into their home, feed him and keep him safe until we could arrive. They had seen my post asking for help and they did. I am forever grateful to them for helping and for the lesson I learned in asking for it.
As we celebrated International Women's Day last we it made me aware of how women all around the world struggle to be seen. We have been taught to wear a mask of "I've got this" all while depleting ourselves emotionally, mentally and even physically caring for all others while ignoring our own basic needs.
We are a good mom if we put our needs aside and care for our children first. We are a good wife if we take care of the house and our husbands, we are a good friend if we drop everything for the latest crisis and we are a good person if we volunteer our time or donate goods to our children's schools or various organizations. There are so many areas of a women's life that she is considered good if..... insert scenario.
Sometimes it's a mere shower we give up, sometimes it's food, sometimes it's a moment of quiet, sometimes it's breaking plans that we were really looking forward to, sometimes it's saying yes when we really want to say no and sometimes it's all of the above and so much more. If there is anything left over and only if, then we allow ourselves a crumb of whatever that may be. Does this mean if we choice to make ourselves a priority that we aren't "good?"
This should never be normalized nor continue as a cycle handed down to our daughters. Self care is NOT a luxury - it IS a necessity. We can not nor should we ever try to pour from an empty cup as it leads to serious illness both mentally AND physically. Take a moment to ask yourself if your needs are being met and if they aren't give yourself permission to start with the smallest of steps in your awareness to those needs.
We must be willing to make ourselves the priority and see ourselves as worthy and deserving of our needs by creating healthy boundaries for others to see and feel. I already know you are pure magic just as you are and deserve to dance with the spirit of the sun, love with the strength of the wild water, move with the mood of the moon and create with the will of the wind with no apologies, but do you?
"There are days you may only hear the whispers of your soul calling out to remind you of your magic within. And there will be days that it roars like an untamed fire burning brightly throughout you, radiating from you for all to see. There will even be the days you sit in complete silence wondering if it was all just a dream. And there will be the days that you turn your back on any belief there was any magic at all.
This my friend is the human experience. The act of living among the chaos and noise in complete separation from self. This happens to every single one of us at times and shows the vulnerability and reality of our daily struggle to go within.
No matter if you are merely a whisper today or a slight ember of yesterday, I see you. I know your struggle, I feel your struggle as I at times struggle too.
Today I am a slow and steady burn feeling the magic, knowing it’s there, believing my fire lights the way for others and when needed can reignite the flame within you too."
And if after reading this you are still unsure of your own fire simply pause......breathe in..........breathe out and become present in this moment. Hands on your heart ask yourself "What do I need in this moment to help me remember?" Then just listen. If your mind is still too busy or your heart is still untrusting of your worth list in your head or on paper the qualities of yourself you love. IF you still struggle, list the things you have heard others say about you. And IF you are still struggling? Get on a call with me. I will hold the space for you to see even for a moment what I see and we can go from there.
Kelly McCarthy is a passionate universal energy teacher, intuitive practitioner and insightful sacred speaker located in Litchfield County, CT. Though not a published author yet, once in awhile she feels called to write about something that speaks to her.