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Over the last several weeks I have been falling in and out of alignment. The holidays trigger so many emotions in me that sometimes it takes all that I have learned to stay present and grounded while other times my mind goes to all that I dislike about Christmas leading me down the rabbit hole of why.
And what I have come to fully understand is what haunts me the most is the Christmas spirit I have taken from my children who are now basically adults at 17 and 21 that feel the same way as I do about the holidays. My years of painful memories, obligations, people pleasing, financial stress, comparing and competing spending time with people I didn't want to, separation from the ones I did, AND no healthy boundaries, left me full of shame, guilt, fear and anger and I took it all out on Christmas day itself. My actions, my thoughts, my behaviors imprinted and impacted my kids then and more so now as my daughter recently said to me ,"Mom, I know you are stressed about Christmas because of the money so please don't buy me anything." It broke my heart to know that her entire belief in Christmas revolves around the monetary value of a gift. Yikes!!!!!!!! That was a big nut to crack, accept and take full responsibility of knowing I created that belief. I understand now because it is exactly what was instilled in me growing up with divorced parents and a father that loved to show up every Xmas day leaving the price tags on everything teaching me all the wrong lessons as we were made to sit and patiently watch everyone open each gift from him so we could be sure to validate his ego and know how much he spent leaving me with the belief that if I didn't spend a lot on other's I wasn't showing them love. So the time has come to FORGIVE not only myself but all those around me that just didn't (and still don't) know any better. I am taking back the spirit of Christmas for myself, my kids and my husband so that no other generation has to endure "MY Christmas Story". We are never meant to live in the stories, the trauma and pain of our ancestors. We are meant to live in the hopes, dreams, and possibilities of our children's children and that is what I plan to do moving forward. The BEST part is, it's NEVER too late to create conscious awareness and the more we are willing to look, accept and forgive the parts of ourselves that are damaged or in pain the more we have the ability to make changes. If we continue to ignore or mask this side of ourselves we will never be free from the stories we have been living. As we know better, we have the choice to DO better. And I deserve better and so does my family so for myself, for them and the generations to come I am taking the reins of my holidays back in my own hands (sorry Santa) and creating NEW memories, NEW traditions, NEW stories that we can all cherish for years to come. And if you are struggling I hope each of you finds some peace and comfort from my experience knowing you are not alone and have the choice to create a change.
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 COURAGE. The word in itself is extremely powerful and holds a very high frequency in nature. We often see a picture of a lion as a representation of it, a person standing in a superhero pose or even someone scaling the side of a mountain to show strength, power and the ability to face our fears. This is known as Physical Courage and is definitely the most prevalent in society as to how to define courage making it #1 on our list of Types of Courage.
What often goes unnoticed are all the other forms of courage that people experience on a daily basis that don't necessarily seem like courage but absolutely are and should be celebrated as such. The second is Social Courage. This is the ability to be yourself without apology and without conforming to what others believe is right for you whether it's your style, your beliefs or the job you choose that brings you pure joy but doesn't necessarily make sense to societal norm. The third is Moral Courage. This is the strength to do the right thing even when it's uncomfortable, unpopular or leaves you standing completely alone making it one of the more difficult types of courage to have at times. The fourth is Emotional Courage. This is the capacity to feel ALL of your emotions, whether you perceive them to be good or bad, without attachment, shame or guilt for feeling them. The fifth is Intellectual Courage. This is one of my specialties when working with clients. It is the skill of learning what you need to unlearn to then relearn a new way with an open mind of what is possible. This one can be extremely difficult due to the human ego that loves to stay stuck where it is through conditioned patterns and beliefs created not just by you but outside influences from birth until now. The Six is Spiritual Courage (and THIS is my life's work as a human) is the ability to understand and live with purpose through deep connections to self, others, mother earth and the animal kingdom as one energy co-creating with the understanding you are imprinting and impacting every experience as well as every being on the planet whether you are conscious to it or not with your words, thoughts and actions. There are many sides to courage and each one again is extremely powerful and worthy of celebrating. So the next time you question your courage think of the many forms courage shows up as and honor your courage in whatever way it shows up for you today.  Before you go rushing in to save someone, make sure you aren't interrupting their Karma.
I think this is something that all humans struggle with at times in their lives whether family, friend or even a complete stranger as we never want to witness the suffering of another. It can be extremely difficult to watch people making choices that are not in their highest good and of course we want to be there to support, love, hold space and sometimes even fix the problem for them if we can, but that's not always in the highest good even if we think it is. What I have found as a spiritual teacher for those on their path is there are many lessons that need to be learned by oneself. We must allow these lessons, even the extremely painful ones, to unfold, to be experienced so that the lesson has the opportunity to be learned. If we are continuously navigating for another, they will not create conscious awareness in their own lives to create a different path for themselves, thus leaving the lesson unlearned. The cycle goes unbroken repeating over and over until they wake up to their own understanding, they hit their own rock bottom or the karma continues with them for another lifetime. So, the question is, how can we help?
Again, though suffering is never pleasant to experience or witness, sometimes it is necessary for someone to consciously choose a different path for themselves. It is often in this discomfort that many people seek the changes they need to make to live a very different life.  The meme above is something I experience with new clients all the time. They have the tap from the universe, usually a nudge of some kind be it physical, emotional or mental to start their journey towards a spiritual awakening. Though I'm not particularly a fan of this now saturated terminology, I use it loosely here as an understanding of what people are referring to as the shift they are experiencing.
For me, a spiritual awakening is creating conscious awareness of you and how you show up in your own life. It's bringing awareness to your choices, your thoughts, your visions for your future and most importantly your unique energetic footprint and how consciously or unconsciously you are imprinting and impacting every single experience you perceive to be happening to you instead of as you, through you. When people start creating this awareness they begin to experience more and more an opening to a connection they forgot they had. We all have these gifts we just need to learn to tap back into them. The deeper they go the more their gifts begin to blossom. They begin to witness synchronicities. The world starts to look and feel different. It's all so exciting to be living in the tap of Universal Energy. And many, so excited for the spiritual connection they are now experiencing want to rush the entire process, take the next class, read the next book or whatever they believe will take them to the next level forgetting the most important aspect of this entire experience. We are here for such a short time if you really think about it so learning to BE and STAY grounded in the present moment as often as possible is key to living your BEST human experience. It's not about leveling up or even getting anywhere else. It's about fully and completely accepting. loving and finding the joy of NOW. Not tomorrow, not when you receive whatever it is you think you want, but NOW and only NOW. Only then can we say we are actively and consciously taking part in our own journey in our highest good. So lean into the vibration of JOY focusing on what is good FIRST. The more you focus on all that is GOOD the better you feel creating a match with universal energy and the flow of it's laws. It's time to break the patterns, break the cycles, break the chains and live your best life now for the NOW. I invite you after reading this to take a moment to focus on ALL that is good in your life right now and if you feel yourself shifting to anything that does not feel good I invite you to put a pen in your hand and start writing all that is good. I promise there is a stream of beautiful energy that awaits you and though it won't dissolve anything that is not good it does put your frequency at a different level allowing you to see from a different perspective those pesky other things as "not as bad as you think." We are all so deserving of more than we allow ourselves to receive and I am here to help you open the door to that new way of life. Whether it's a one time experience or you work with me on a regular basis I am here to hold the space you need to take the first step. It's never too late to make a new choice, a new path or start a whole new way to live.  My 17 year old daughter called me on a recent Sunday evening from work completely exhausted and stated she needed a Mental Health Day and would it be okay if she stayed home from school on Monday.
With absolutely NO hesitation I said "Absolutely." My daughter like many others of all ages are living in SURVIVAL MODE and it's simply NOT okay. The amount of people who are just trying to get through the day only to repeat it day in and day out is the true pandemic that is destroying our world. People are constantly anxious, worried, angry, exhausted and in pain emotionally, mentally and sometimes even physically because they do not have the necessary coping mechanisms to handle life. Add to that the rules created by society that do not make taking care of yourself a priority so you decide to do what's not necessarily in your best interest because it's easier to just push through than deal with the consequences. Watch the Facebook Live for context. As a holistic practitioner that works with people to create conscious awareness around a new way to live it is often a struggle for me to share them with my daughter. She watched and learned from me, a pro, that lived in pure survival mode most of her life. The best I can do is to continue to live by example and be there to support her in whatever way that looks like depending on the situation. Today it was
As I know better, I do better and I will continue to share with all those open to learning the many ways in which I have learned to LIVE in this world without having to merely survive it.  Have you ever felt a pang of jealousy when a friend, coworker or even complete stranger seems to be advancing in their life "faster" than you? You know, that sinking stomach feeling that somehow they have something you can't or don't already have? You are smiling through gritted teeth for their success but in your mind you are secretly saying "why them and not me?" Yeah, we have all experienced that at one time or another in our lives whether we want to admit it or not. It's our human experience to live this life through our senses coveting the things and experiences of others instead of living fully in gratitude for the vibrational energy we already are with the ability to create whatever we want for ourselves if we could just get the heck out of our own vibrational way.
I recently experienced this myself and went into a very short lived spiral of a pity party only to come out on the other side with the realization IT ISN'T EVEN WHAT I WANT!!!!! This realization floored me as I began to unravel what it was that I perceived to be missing in my life in that moment. You know what I was missing? The ONLY thing I was missing? My connection to my own vibrational energy and that of the universe. (Feel free to call it whatever you feel is in alignment with your beliefs whether it be Source, The Divine, God, etc.) So, I chose to get quiet. I sat in silence asking for my connection to be reinstated by feeling the gratitude of my life and the more grateful I became the more it magnified. My entire vibration shifted to one of hearing AND feeling what it was I truly wanted and not surprisingly it was not one materialistic thing. I understood in that moment the reason I felt that pang of jealousy was not because I wanted what they had but because their perceived success was actually their alignment to source pointing out the GAP in my own alignment. It was the eye opening experience that I was depriving myself of my own connection to the laws of the Universe by coveting others. The reason we covet is we perceive to be missing something that others have forgetting we are programmed to believe and measure our lives by using our senses: what we can see, touch, taste, feel and hear. We are not taught to BE the vibration of universal law and often get it confused as wanting "things". And as I sat in silence I asked for words of wisdom to be shared with me in how to work with this new found understanding in my human experience and this is what I heard. "When coveting others simply state "Thank you for showing me the space where I have fallen out of alignment with self. This is my reminder to reconnect and shift my understanding of what truly is" Upon hearing this wisdom gifted to me by the Universe I felt the pressure in my chest and the sick feeling in my stomach disappear as my heart reopened to the alignment that awaited me. The lesson is now so clear and I felt compelled to share it with you in hopes that it can assist you upon your journey anytime you feel yourself coveting another.  How many times has the thought, I should know better, crossed your mind after experiencing the same lesson over and over and over again with little to know difference in the outcome?
You want to live differently, you try and try and at times even think you are only to be left exactly where you started doubting yourself, your circumstances, what you really want and how to get there. Exasperated once again stating the belief you have embodied in your mind, "WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME????" The answer? Absolutely nothing! This is the conditioning of your inner being and not being in alignment with the laws of the universe. Whether you believe them or not they are REAL and scientifically backed by plenty of evidence. Our minds are powerful and they store all of our experiences and thoughts whether we perceive them as positive or negative, good or bad along with the thoughts and beliefs of others creating a hardwired systems in our physical bodies to react in ways that become unconscious and quite comfortable, even when those feelings and experiences aren't. How? Because everytime we have a thought we are unconsciously pulling from the library of information we store fueled by the emotion we are feeling at that very moment created by a memory we have. Often times this leads us in the direction we don't really want to go or if we try to go a different way it pulls us back in with chatter to keep us exactly where we are. It's from years and years of living disconnected. We are either completely unconscious to this behavior or we don't know how to get out of it because the habit, the pattern has become so ingrained as our inner being. So, what now? Simple, notice your thoughts, acknowledge them and change the script right? The power of positive thinking and all that. Well, not entirely. There is actual science behind the body / mind connection and how it all works and if it were all that easy we would all be doing this all the time (including me) but instead we beat ourselves up for not knowing better, for measuring our lives with things, what we've accomplished or not accomplished, what we want but don't have yet, what others are doing, we focus on all that isn't right in our worlds dreaming for the moment then focusing on how it's not happening fast enough or in the way we thought it should and the list goes on. We live in habitual patterns we have created. What we need to do is learn how to UNLEARN. Let's start here. Life is supposed to FEEL GOOD. Start by focusing on the frequency of how something FEELS. Whether an experience, racing thoughts or a particular situation. If it FEELS good you are in alignment - you know it just by the way you show up differently in your life. You're not trying to make anything happen, it just does. But if it doesn't feel good, you are NOT in alignment with your inner being and the laws of the universe which can feel like trying too hard, confusion, uncertainty, doubt, worry, stress and even anxiety. Yuck, who wants that. What's next? Stop beating yourself up as you learn. You didn't learn to walk in a day nor did you know how to eat with a fork, read, write or speak. It, as with everything else, takes practice. When you find yourself going down your rabbit hole or in the frequency of feeling out of alignment you can choose to take charge of it. (or not, but you know how that goes) Where there is willingness there is a way. Experts say the best way to realign with your inner being and the laws of the universe is through meditation. Take a few moments each morning to quiet your mind and focus on the frequency of YOU. Count your blessing, dream your dreams and feel the vibration growing. The more you do this the more it becomes a habit increasing your ability to create the conscious awareness around noticing your frequency more and more throughout your day. Learn to lean into your desires stating what you want not what you don't want. Notice and appreciate what you have not what you don't have. Stop asking how, when, where, and why and fully commit to the understanding that you get exactly what you think about whether you want it or not (past, present, or future) When you begin the journey to creating conscious awareness to your own thoughts and behaviors and realigning your inner being with the laws of the universe everything is possible from living the life of your dreams to actively changing your ancestral fate so remember as we know better we do better and we have the ability to do better each and every day.  If you had told me five years ago I would be where I am now, offering my psychic abilities while holding space for others in their healing, I would have immediately questioned, rationalized and then released the thought with a zillion reasons as to why there was no way. Thoughts such as :
🔥 Lil ole me? Have you seen so and so and how powerful they are? 🔥 Who am I to think I have what it takes to do X,Y and Z? 🔥 I haven't healed all my own sh*t, how can I possibly help others? 🔥 I don't know enough yet so I need to wait until I do. Sound Familiar? Study after study shows that 80% of our thoughts are negative and up to 95% of our thoughts are repetitive from the day before. That is POWERFUL. We are literally living in an unconscious pattern of our thoughts and actions every single day affecting who we are and how we show up in our lives..... The question is, is it possible to change this? And the answer is ABSOLUTELY YES!!! With a willingness to participate actively and consciously you can begin to shift the narrative in your own brain to begin the process of rewiring it to think more positively. And when we are more positive, we are open to experiencing less fear and more of what lights us up! This is not to say you won't ever have a doubt as you will, but by having a positive mindset while bringing awareness to them you will see them for what they truly are, most often, irrational fears. So how do we begin? Here are just a few suggestions as to what works for me so let's start making some waves 🌊 in your life! 🔥 Making gratitude a daily practice. Gratitude is a simple way to get into a positive mindset. 🔥 Meditation - the better your relationship is to your inner self, the better you will feel 🔥 Practice the art of conscious awareness to your thoughts revolving around self and your abilities. 🔥 Hit the books - read or listen to the masters of this understanding - my absolute favorite on this subject is Dr Joe Dispenza 🔥 AND.... surround yourself with people, places and things that support positive reinforcement in all areas of your life. Because I chose to begin the journey to rewiring my brain (still processing........) I have stepped into a whole new world, doing things I never thought I would, (like being a part of an Anthology that releases in October with a chapter taken from my OWN book being published in 2023) with a career that feeds my soul, surrounded by people that constantly pour their greatness into me and it all started with a willingness to try. The questions that remains is, Are you willing?  The reality of our human experience is we have a limited amount of time here and we do not know when that time will come to an end. Clients come to me because they are struggling on their current path, in search of their life purpose often misguided by watching others in comparison. Our journey's cannot be compared to anyone else's as our journey's are far different even when they may look the same. We could be experiencing the very same situation but how we perceive it through our own filtered experiences could be very different leaving us both on unique paths leading to opposite places.
We can choose to spend our time regretting our life’s path, our decisions, make excuses for them or even waste our time worrying about what’s next and what we think is missing. In the end it’s still all wasted time. Instead, as a mirror for others, I share the ability to see all the different paths you have taken throughout your life as blessings for the lessons you have learned, the people you have met along the way and help you realize that no path was wrong for each one led you to another moment, another choice and another path. If you are feeling lost on the path you are on I invite you to simply stop for a moment, close your eyes, take a slow deep breath in and connect to a reason to enjoy exactly where you are and what you have in this moment. Relish in the joy of now and know you are in this exact moment for a reason. Never regret where you have been because whether you understand it or not it is the reason you are exactly where you are in this moment. If you don't like where you are feel free to choose a different path. If you are struggling and simply don't know how yet, feel free to connect with me to explore all the new and amazing possibilities that await you. Our journey's do not have to be hard. Our ego's create the resistance and when we learn how to create conscious awareness to our energetic frequency and the connection to Universal Energy our resistance softens and we learn to choose our paths with no regret. We learn to choose the paths led by our hearts, not our heads and those paths my friends are simply spectacular. |
AuthorKelly McCarthy is a passionate universal energy teacher, intuitive practitioner and insightful sacred speaker located in Litchfield County, CT. Though not a published author yet, once in awhile she feels called to write about something that speaks to her. Archives
December 2022
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