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We spend so much of our time questioning things and I mean everything. We can have the most incredible idea and somehow talk ourselves out of it before we even begin. We go 10 rounds beating ourselves up in the ring of life with the What, Where, Why, How and When that we lose sight on the most important part of it all. The art of asking and then ALLOWING it to come to fruition in the timing of the universe, not our expectations.
The struggle that most people experience is they get antsy with waiting and start changing their mind, question the validity of their thoughts and ideas or want to SEE confirmation immediately and if they don’t well then they start to question it yet again OR they shift and it’s on to the next “thing” whatever that “thing” may be. What people don’t realize is those great ideas are already out there in the universe waiting to be connected to and the reason you get super excited about something is because your FREQUENCY is matching that of the idea that’s already there. The challenge comes when you try to figure it all out instead of just relishing in the incredible FEELING it gives you to play with the idea. Instead you analyze, crunch numbers and try to get super detailed in the execution of your expectations which often leads to failure because as much as you want it you cannot MAKE it happen with your mind alone. You need to create it with how you FEEL because feeling is EVERYTHING. Even more challenging is learning to stop using the senses you use in your everyday life to help create the life you really want. What I mean is that we use our senses as proof that something is valid or real. We see to believe, we touch and know it’s real, we taste, we smell and we hear because that’s what we were taught to do but in the world of universal energy that is not the case. We must FEEL what it is we want and unfortunately that was never something we were taught how to do. So how do we learn the art of allowing? For me it was a deeper awareness that though I am constantly having to react to the conditions around me by using my senses I focus on how something makes me FEEL before proceeding. And it really doesn’t matter if it’s my next great idea or if it’s saying yes to an invitation. If the feeling of HELL YES, isn’t there then I know it’s not for me. This took time, patience and a true willingness to give up my idea of control and allow my feelings to lead the way. Does it always work? Nope. I’m a spiritual being having a human experience so I don’t always get it right and can spin my wheels too but the conscious awareness to this practice brings me around much quicker than it ever did and that’s what I strive for. More awareness in my present moment as often as possible. Playing with Universal Energy is supposed to be FUN. Life itself is meant to enjoy not fear, not struggle, not just survive so the next time you are using your senses for validation of whatever it is you are thinking of, take a moment to pause, close your eyes and ask yourself this ,”How does this make me feel?” and watch the conversation with yourself begin to change. The more you do this, the better your life becomes.
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Often times people are misguided by trending memes and social media posts from everyday people as well as coaches speaking of the awesomeness of spiritual awakenings, finding the light, transcending to a higher consciousness and finding alignment with source thinking that this journey is somehow all rainbows, unicorns and butterflies rarely speaking of the hell it sometimes feels like and quite frankly IS.
My journey felt (and sometimes still does) more like walking on a road of knee deep mud barely able to lift my feet to take the next step while being pelted by hail, wind and rain coming from every direction. There were times I bucked like a wild mustang against some of the lessons and the messages I needed to hear or heed only to be hurled back by what felt like years in my understanding and growth. I had or sometimes still have to consciously remind myself it's just another transition in my journey. A time between the sweet spots where everything feels off but it's really not. It's in these moments that growth is happening, energy is shifting, people, places and things may be falling away that no longer serve me. This is NOT a state of "stuck" or "brokenness". This is a state of creating space for what I truly need to move forward. Recently, I experienced a mindblowing Shadow Work experience guided by a friend that completely knocked me out of my comfort zone and had me reeling for days over the revelations that occurred by facing the deepest shadows of myself that I “thought” I had already introduced myself to. Come to find out I had barely scratched the surface prior to this event and now have a whole new direction and understanding of what I want my life to look like moving forward and let me tell you it was so different than ANYTHING I had ever pictured before. It also brought me great awareness to my own verbiage and I found myself needing to remove a lot of the spiritual “lingo” from my conversations to reach a whole new circle of people which I am and I am mind blown with the connections I am creating because of it. I realize for me that all this spiritual chatter is just another way to divide people when all I really want is to bring awareness to taking personal responsibility while creating conscious awareness to one’s own energetic footprint and how it affects not only themselves but everything and everyone else around them. It's why I work so deeply with our entire being in my offerings with clients. There is just as much beauty in what we do not want to see as what we do. When we experience it, we begin to become more aware of it, when we become more aware of it, we begin to embody it and when we embody it, we begin to understand it and when we understand it we can then consciously process it, leading to a different level of consciousness to our being. (As we know better, we do better) This journey is never ending, and the good news is it never will. it's a whirlwind of conscious and unconscious patterns, behaviors and thoughts that have been instilled by generations before us. We were never meant to live in the stories, the traumas or the pain of our ancestors but in fact were meant to live in the dreams, opportunities, and possibilities of our children's children. We are never stuck nor are we ever broken, we are merely in between lessons that need our attention to continue our path to a better understanding of our human experience here and when we are willing to take personal responsibility of our own journey this and only this can create serious changes not only within ourselves, but in the world around us. Maybe it’s time to ask yourself some questions?
Many of you know my story, read pieces of it in Ignite Your Leadership, a bestselling anthology I took part in last year, or have seen posts about it on social media. For those that haven’t I’d like to share a bit about the realization I have come to 13 years after having what the clinical world would call a breakdown that landed me on suicide watch and under lock and key on the 7th floor of our local hospital also known as the “psyche ward.”
It was one of 3 of the scariest times of my life coming in right behind being hit head on in a car accident while 6 months pregnant with my son and nearly losing my daughter at the age of 2 to a rare blood disorder that magically cleared itself up after 7 days in the oncology ward at CT Children’s Hospital where they thought she had leukemia. The first year after my “breakdown” I was in a medically induced trance so to speak swallowing seven different medications a day to keep me “here”. I was numb for the most part feeling very little during that time. I was unable to work and lacked energy to do much of anything. Taking care of my kids was almost impossible and left me feeling so much guilt for years after as I watched my husband automatically step up and take on all the roles I should have. A recurring lesson I still live with as an entrepreneur whose income can sometimes be sporadic. (If you know, you know) Looking back though, I see the actual BLESSING that time truly was. I was finally resting in ways I never gave myself permission to do because I had no choice now. My BODY rested fully. My MIND couldn’t hold on to a thought long enough to stress out about it. The VOICE that loved to talk shit to me was finally quiet. I was an empty shell of a human being during that time and as I look back in a way it was one of the most beautiful times in my life while for others that were witness to it, it was devastating. As my body, mind and soul were given a much needed break from the rat race of life I was able to begin the healing process and I thank the universe every single day for this gift and the gift of the people in my life who supported me during this time. Especially my husband Bob who’s undying love for me has withstood 28 years of my shifts (believe me he’s shifted too) and because of it, my soul began to reawaken and the voice that had been stifled my entire life came through louder and louder and I began to listen more and more. Here I am 13 years later fully understanding that this “Breakdown” was exactly that but not in the way the clinical world would describe it. Instead, it was a Breakdown of:
This breakdown became the BREAKTHROUGH I needed to start making serious changes in my life and that’s exactly what I did. We, as a society, are constantly and unconsciously pushing ourselves to the breaking point whether we are “Chasing the American Dream” or literally just trying to survive in this world where we are faced daily with incredible challenges and triggers from people, places and things until something happens (I call it the tap from the universe) to make us STOP and take notice. It may be a story like mine, it may be drugs, it may be a divorce, death to a loved one, a disease or even a financial crisis that leads us to this stepping stone of the breakdown itself but that’s all it is is a breakdown of all that was building IN you that you literally can’t hold onto one more day. Here is my invitation to embody the breakdown as it can lead to the most incredible breakthroughs and if I can be of assistance to help YOU see you as I and the universe already do, gain some Klarity and ignite some passion into the life you live then feel free to reach out and I will hold the space for you to experience it too.  Change. It is something that we experience all the time whether we are ready for it or not. Some changes we can prepare for as best we can and some come right out of left field leaving us feeling scared, insecure and unsure as to what may be our next course of action. Some changes we are in control of however many times they are beyond our reach and being made by others for us.
Change itself brings about every single emotion there is depending on how each person accepts change and of course how this new found change will affect their life personally. This leads to arguments, people taking sides and creating a vast separation among us actually causing more harm than good. I have no doubt you can think of something right now in this moment that you are either seeking a change for OR wanting to see a change in. What we often forget is how said change affects ALL. When we come from a place of wanting to make changes in our perception that are for the greater good it becomes more difficult to navigate due to the complexities of emotions that we attach to the changes being made and the fact that not everyone is going to agree with you. What you want may not be what another wants nor vise versa again creating a very low vibration of energetic frequencies for the planet that do more harm than good. There is a saying in the 12 step programs that states: "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference." Soooo powerful, so impactful and so very true. When we try to change things that are out of our control we actually give our power away as our own energetic frequency becomes lowered leaving us exposed to all things of a lower vibration. And though we think we are "fighting the good fight" we ARE still fighting and our energetic bodies know this leaving us open to everything from stress to debilitating diseases. And when we become consumed with trying to change something we are actually creating a larger and even bigger energetic resistance to whatever that change is making it even more difficult to navigate. The good news is you CAN make changes. Really really BIG ones but where do you start? The most profound changes are the ones that you make for yourself, to yourself and how you choose to live your life. The higher the vibration you can offer the changes you would like to see for our world the more change you will actually SEE. It can only be done through the high vibrations of GRATITUDE and LOVE. No amount of fighting, finger pointing, blaming, shaming, yelling, or trash talking will EVER dream our world into being no matter how passionate you feel towards the change you'd like to see. We must focus on our own thoughts, our own beliefs, and our own actions because in the end it's really the only thing you have true control over anyway. So the next time you want to fight the good fight for a cause you truly believe in try sitting in a quiet space and offer the situation and all involved LOVE. Love does conquer all but we have to be willing to give it to everything and everyone and not just in what we think is deserving of it. If everyone chose love imagine the kind of world we could live in. I do, every single day and it's awesome.  Prior to the start of many sessions whether a Soul Reading or a Universal Energy Session I am often nudged by my guides to ask if there are any questions that you would like some insight around. Often times I am told "no" only to be nudged even further from above to ask again which usually sounds something like this.
"Do you have any questions you would like to ask?" " Um, no, I don't think so." "Are you sure? My guides are telling me you have a very specific question." "Well, um I do have one question." And then the conversation begins. We are all full of burning questions we seek the answers to. Questions about : ourselves, the direction of our lives, our loved ones, our purpose, our love life, our jobs, the should I the I want to, but.... And then to each question you can usually add one or more of the: How, When, Where, What or Why.... Sooooo many questions. We are a tiny little speck in an entire galaxy full of beings with so much potential yet we forget how small we really are. We place importance in things that don't even matter over our connection to self and Universal Law. We are literally living on a rock that is hurling through infinite space and we are more worried about other people's opinions of our choices or that someone didn't like ours that we are missing so much of what truly matters. We have such a short time here on this incredible planet and we waste so much of it in doubt, fear, shame, guilt and suffering instead of doing what we want because of all the things we THINK are holding us back. I answer these questions with the help of my guides but it really all comes down to free will and your ability to learn how to harness your own energetic frequency through conscious awareness. Conscious awareness is the key to connection. Without it you will continue to hurl aimlessly through life (and the universe) with the burning questions always burning you but if you take the time to open your heart, your mind and release the idea that what you SEE is what truly matters you will open your world to see things differently. So the next time you have a burning question ask yourself this. "In my human experience with such little time on this rock I call home, hurling through infinite space with so much potential, what are the burning questions within me that really matter?" You may just find your answers will shift with a different perspective and if they are still burning you, you know where to find me to help open the door to the answers that seek YOU. In the end it's not what you have accumulated, other's opinions have never mattered and the fears keeping you from NOT living the life you deserve for yourself may lead you to the regret of never asking the RIGHT questions til the very end. LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST NOW... We all have that friend or at least know someone who falls into this category. They are continuously adding to their portfolio of certifications, always traveling to exotic places you only dream of, have kids that are studying to be an astronaut and seem to have big exciting news everytime you bump into them and let's be honest, it's usually when they are looking their best and you are wearing sweats and sporting a very very messy bun. You stand there listening to their next greatest endeavor wishing at this moment you could just be swallowed up into the floor as you nod your approval looking around for the fastest escape route because omg I can't compete with THAT???!!!!!
Do you see yourself in either of these roles? I was the one looking for the escape route never thinking I had anything worthy of sharing and when I did it was for validation to help my low self esteem receive a very brief nudge of nurturing only to be left feeling worse after we parted because now I was comparing my stories to theirs and my battle to beat myself up for not being good enough continued. WOW, what a waste of my time. Or was it? What I have learned from friending my own shadow, understanding my ancestral fate and living in this human experience is vast and would take more than my weekly wisdom to share but here are a few extremely important nuggets that you may find resonate with you too. First, let me start out by saying life is not a competition! "It is MY perception of MY own circumstances that hold ME back from every single thing I want." When I accepted this like the jagged little pill it felt like at the time, I began to take personal responsibility to shift my thinking and my reaction which in turn allowed me to share even my smallest accomplishments with others because of my pride in my own growth over the need for validation that I was worthy of praise in the first place. Second, It's okay to share my accomplishments and feel really good about them when I am conscious of my surroundings and intentions so be mindful of WHY, HOW and WHERE I choose to share my news. In other words a wake is not where I want to hear about your next program you are launching nor after a friend shares her scary news in a group setting do I want to hear in the next breath about your book launch as we are all still processing what was said prior. (and yes, these scenarios have happened) Third, No one and I mean NO ONE can make me feel anything. I am making myself feel in whatever way I do because of an experience or memory of an experience I have already had. How I feel about something is not the other person's problem. It's mine and up to me to shift my thoughts, feelings and actions with every experience I perceive to be happening "to me" as it's really happening as me, through me. And lastly, I give myself permission to feel whatever it is I'm feeling with conscious awareness to why I'm feeling it when hearing others share their big news or even when I am sharing mine. If envy creeps in it is 100% my disconnection to my own frequency with the universe and can only be shifted by me. If I feel authentic happiness for them (or even myself) I know I am in full alignment and that's a very beautiful space to be in, as. I know there will always be those that share from an inflated ego just as there will always be those that share for a desperate need of attention as I did but for every moment comes a lesson of self that with awareness we can learn and grow from. The most profound lesson for me was learning I can humbly share my accomplishments with no need for approval. Instead it's a celebration of how far I have come and the relationship I have built with myself that I can share with others to show them what's possible in their own lives. What are you celebrating right now in your life that you would like to take a moment to "brag" about. If you feel called to share just reply to this email and I will hold the space to celebrate the shit out of you and your news. You are worthy and deserving of it! Yesterday we celebrated Mother’s Day and many a mother I spoke with over the last several days were hoping for a day to herself or at least a few hours where she was not being pulled in a different direction by different people wanting or needing something from her. The more I talk to women in my practice the more I realize though society says “Put Yourself First” there is a voice in our brain that simply says, “How can I? If I don’t do it, who will?”
The intention to spoil mom is there by all means but the stories of past mother’s day were of how brunch was a great idea but mom had to get the kids dressed, make sure everyone was loaded in the car to arrive on time and of course take care of the kids during brunch, only to have a full load of extra laundry to do when they got home because they wore more clothes than usual for a Sunday. How about making their kids feel special about the mass blob of clay they made in art class as your gift while the husbands get to play with their well thought out toys you purchase from the kids for Father’s Day. Now you have to find a place to showcase the blob and before you know it you have a cabinet of homemade “art” while dad is playing with his new Kubota in the backyard.. Breakfast in bed? Amazing idea, but now your kids have trashed the kitchen and climbed into bed with sticky fingers all over the sheets so what started as a beautiful idea in theory has become another chore for you because who else is going to clean the kitchen and wash the sheets? Do any of these stories resonate for you or maybe you can add your own? Women inherently are caregivers, multitaskers, planners, and at all times are thinking 15 steps ahead of where they are right now so not to drop the ball or mess anything up for those that are counting on them to take care of things. Not only do moms keep a schedule for every single person living under their roof but are also inundated with details for everything their families are involved with all the while hearing society say, “It’s okay to put yourself FIRST.” But is it really? If all the moms just stopped for a day what in the world would happen and do we even want to f*k around and find this out? I know I surely don’t. Women are what keep the world moving in a direction of flow. We are the grease for the wheels, the storyteller of the tales, the holder of secrets, the protectors of our pride (think lioness) and the nurses to the sick. We are the glue and I wouldn’t want it any other way. It’s not in our nature to place ourselves and our well being BEFORE our families so I know I will continue to move mountains (as will every mother I know) to make everything flow as best I can but I also understand without balance in my own life trying to balance everything else becomes even more challenging. It’s why my daily practice is so important to me. Without meditation and energy work I would not have balance and without balance in myself I could not find balance in anything else. So yes, I may never come first because I am a mother but I’m okay with that because I CHOSE this and I am honored to be a mom. I may have a dozen or so stories of how Mother’s Day wasn’t what I wanted (remember I was also a restaurant owner - if you know you know - lol) but in whatever messy way that looked like they were trying their best to celebrate me and for that I am forever grateful. So Celebrate 2nd place, maybe even 3rd, 7th or 10th depending on the size of your family all while remembering you may never fully come first but you also don’t have to put yourself dead last. In a soul reading with a young women yesterday I felt this unbelievable amount of heaviness in my chest, throat and stomach. An incredible sadness filled my heart and tears stung my eyes as I felt her pain. She was literally carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders at the age of 25.
She at 25 was feeling all the same feelings I had in my 40's and as I shared everything that came through for her she sat with a far away look in her eyes nodding her confirmations. I had been her, she was me and so many others. I realized what this young lady needed more than anything was to hear she wasn't alone. I put my hand on her knee, told her she wasn't alone in her feelings and the weight of the world was not hers to bare. She looked at me, put her head in her hands and began to cry. This young women who was already so done with the life she perceived to have finally allowed someone in to see her pain. 20 minutes can barely scratch the surface of what comes through in a reading but what I was able to share with her gifted her the connection she so desperately needed, HOPE for her future and CLARITY in the steps she has the ability to take to create substantial change. She welcomed a hug from me with a smile on her face and a lightness in her heart that I felt radiating from her. And that's all it takes to be the change we want to see in the world. It's not about picking up the battles and fighting them alongside someone sharing war stories while making them bigger and even stronger by adding to their energy; It's about listening, and supporting, and holding space, and hugging, and letting someone know they are not alone in this life even when it feels like it. But it's also about learning to ask for what you need and being open to receiving it. In a world where the agendas of many are so blatantly confusing, the separation of people through ideas, thoughts and beliefs is becoming more and more and the scarcity mindset is running rampid due to the rising cost of absolutely everything it's no wonder the younger generations are now mistakenly carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders too.
Your empowering question of the week is this: What area(s)s of your life do you tend to see or feel yourself as a victim? The more you are willing and open to taking a look at these areas the more you can give and receive without an unconscious agenda of your own. We can live differently but it's a choice and the choice is ours. We can absolutely HEAL OURSELVES from so many things yet often gravitate towards the things that are not in the highest good of our health and wellbeing. This can leave us open to misdiagnosis, confusion, frustration and depression.
Society as a whole has been programmed to grab the fastest and easiest fix to just about everything. Have a headache, pop a pill. Need energy quick, grab a coffee. Feeling depressed, feed your emotions. Rushed for time, grab something from a fast food drive thru. None of this is conducive to creating a healthy balanced lifestyle where healing naturally can even begin to occur. Rather it often leads to long time medication use, illness and so much more. One of the most beautiful healing spaces we have is within ourselves AND out in nature yet people do not seem to understand the ability of their own bodies, minds and the connection to nature to properly navigate these incredible resources that are FREE to each and every one of us. Our bodies are constantly regenerating and when there is illness or discomfort it's literally our bodies trying to speak to us yet instead of getting quiet and going within to listen we run to all the bandages that have been created for us instead of learning the root cause of our issues in the first place which is often times NOT listening to our bodies. Meditation is a beautiful form of connection to ourselves and our bodies and when we learn to quiet our minds we release any resistance to thought and when we release our resistance to thought we open the doors to listening and when we learn to listen we begin to create conscious awareness and that conscious awareness turns into trust which then deepens our connection to ourselves leading to making different choices in our lives. Nature as well is a beautiful all natural source for healing for many of the same reasons. When we disconnect from our busy lives and go out in nature undistracted from technology and noise pollution we have the ability to slow way down, use our senses, and be lulled by the beauty of our surroundings. No longer overstimulated as we experience the smells, the sounds and the feels of nature. In this space we become present, aware and begin to relax naturally experiencing more happiness and less stress because we have placed the "busy" on the shelf. I invite you to take a look at how you listen (or don't) to your body over the next week and begin to notice any quick fixes you may lean to using. Not as a judgement but rather as a form of self love and awareness of what you, and the wonders of nature are truly capable of when given the chance. We all have the ability to heal so much of what we believe can only be healed by outside sources, we just need to learn how. All the things I had been asking for recently were coming to me effortlessly and I was ecstatic. Or so I thought.
The last few weeks have been a non stop hamster wheel of going, going, going and it's soooooooooo not my style. Daily, I was jumping through corporate hoops back and forth with boatloads of paperwork that had deadlines, extensive background checks, references and more only to find out about a policy I wasn't comfortable with and had to make the hard decision to walk away. Freya, my beautiful puppy that stole my heart ended up NOT being a fit for my family after all due to a prey drive that sent my beloved cat Sebastian into emergency surgery ending with 33 stitches. I had to make the incredibly hard decision to surrender her back to the rescue and cried the whole way home after my husband and I dropped her off with a foster family in Massachusetts on Thursday 3/2/23 - yes that's 3223 and in numerology it means personal growth while encouraging you to reach out for help when needed while remaining open to new opportunities that come your way all while knowing your angels are always guiding you through the challenges that arise on your path. 😳 WOW! After sitting with all the situations that I was currently experiencing I realized what a blessing NOT taking this job nor having a new puppy meant in the long run and the sadness and disappointment began to fade. This past weekend, at our Grand Opening, I was fully booked sharing soul readings for people both Friday and Saturday and I just knew. THIS is where I am meant to be!!! And it would not be possible with that job nor that pup. When one door closes, whether you choose to shut them or they are shut for you, another opens. I am now focusing on what's possible for the future and completing the course, Catapult into Consciousness that I was in the process of creating that got pushed to the side. In that moment I saw it all as a hidden blessing and it got me thinking of how many other experiences in my life actually could fall into this category instead of where I might have put them? Hmmmmmm, just a fleeting thought I had but makes you wonder doesn't it? How many times has something you wanted not come to fruition and it's actually a hidden blessing and not what you perceived it to be at the time? Makes you wonder doesn't it. So here's to the unknown and trusting the journey even when you don't fully understand it as you're in it. If you are open to discovering your truth you may just find you have a lot of hidden blessings after all. |
AuthorKelly McCarthy is a passionate universal energy teacher, intuitive practitioner and insightful sacred speaker located in Litchfield County, CT. Though not a published author yet, once in awhile she feels called to write about something that speaks to her. Archives
October 2023
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