We have been taught or at least heard of in our lifetime that Sunday is meant for a day of rest. I have noticed more and more the evolution of the tagline "Self Care Sunday" popping up in every spiritual group, coaching practice and social media feeds. I have found this a bit misleading in my own world as if somehow only one day is meant for self care and that self care means booking a massage, or lunch with friends, or whatever outward experience makes you feel better.

What if self care became a conscious choice each and every day and we embodied it as an outward AND inward experience? A beautiful balance of taking care of ourselves as well as enjoying the experiences that help support our self care? What would this look like for you? 

Examples of how I support my inner self care:

• Consciousness of how I speak to myself and others understanding that my verbiage is powerful and imprints many including me. (what you put out comes back)
• Daily gratitude practice that helps me stay in a higher frequency
• Drink half my body weight in water (in ounces) each and every day and make sure I add to that when working in shared energy with clients
• Read a page or a few pages each and everyday of something to expand my mind
• Listen to thought leaders who help expand my knowledge and heartspace
• Meditate every day to expand my connection to self, others, mother earth and the animal kingdom 
• I have a balance of days on and off to support my need to rest and create 
• I ask for what I need
• Have very healthy boundaries for my time and energy that do not waiver

Examples of outward self care that support my inner work:

• Walks in nature with my dog, hubby and/or friends
• Book a Massage 
• Lunch/dinner/coffee dates with friends for laugh fests
• Energy Work
• Hire others to help me when I need it (my recent publisher and designer of my Animal Wisdom Candles)
• Pedicures
• Events that fill my heart, mind and soul
• Speaking engagements

There are so many options of what self care looks like and it is different for everyone as everyone's needs and wants are different and evolve as they do. The point is, don't wait for Sundays. I know it's a catchy tagline to use especially in business but remember we learn by watching and listening to others and consciously or not these words and actions imprint and impact us all. Self care is a necessity, not a one day a week gig nor is it a luxury.

So ask yourself this, what does inner and outer self care look like for me and how can I start taking steps in my everyday to implement what I truly need for alignment and balance?

Don’t ever let a bad day or days trick you into thinking you have a bad life. 
We all have experienced them at one point in our life. The days that make us feel inferior, like nothing is going our way no matter what we try to do. The days where we just want to stay in bed and forget it all. The days that feel so hard that we feel they will never end. We go down the rabbit hole looking for all the bad stuff to compile in our heads to justify and confirm that this thought, this belief, is absolute truth. 

In my own experience years ago, this became a habitual pattern where I created a belief system around these days believing that because of them my entire life sucked. I got so caught up in the actual days that I was unable to even catch a glimpse of anything good. I was so lost and broken that it was just easier to blame all my stuff on these days instead of taking personal responsibility for owning my part in it. The habit was deep and it was easier to stay there than to begin the process of true change. People would try to point out the good things and I became like a venomous snake ready to defend my belief with a slide presentation in my mind ready to share with all the crap I had in my life to back me up. That was a very hard pill to swallow and took some serious self reflection to begin to change this pattern. 

The reflection began when I was introduced to my first book in the self help area. The book was called The Secret, by Rhonda Byrne. Many of you know my profound love for this simple yet powerful book and its concept of The Law of Attraction. It opened the door to beginning my spiritual journey and has become a deep part of my being and teachings. The understanding that we ATTRACT exactly what we ARE in every moment of everyday whether we are conscious of it or not. 

You may be asking “But how does this affect me?” Well, it’s simple. Whatever it is you are thinking or doing at any given moment is actually attracting more of that same energy into your life. If you are focusing on all the bad things you will attract more bad things, if you think your life is hard then yes it will feel hard and you will attract more experiences that will confirm this. Now you may be asking, “Well, what can I do about this?”

This is the challenging part. To first accept your role in it and then begin the steps. 
 

• Stop blaming all the outside sources of what you think is causing you discomfort and look within at how you show up in your own life as the energy you are attracting.

 

• Start with baby steps of gratitude. Gratitude is one of the highest frequencies and can lift you out of habits and patterns that are not in your highest good.

 

• Start a journal about these days writing out all that you FEEL about them remembering that you can detach yourself from them with the acceptance of them as an experience, not a definition of your life.

 

• Look for the lessons in these days, they may not always be clear but they are there. The more you acknowledge them, the easier this becomes. 

 

• Stay as present as possible in your own life each and every day. It’s not about the past, you can’t change it and no one can predict the future but understanding you ATTRACT what you ARE is a powerful way to be. 
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 Remember life is not happening TO US or even FOR US. It’s happening AS US, THROUGH US. And that my friends is the true secret. ​

 As an animal communicator it's extremely hard to accept the fact that I am able to connect with all kinds of animals as well as people but this one foster dog, in my care, was absolutely shutting me out from trying to find him. I spent the better part of my morning listening to the negative self talk of my failure, but as each hour passed of the dog being lost in the woods in the fog and rain, I began to feel better and here is why.

My husband told me to share our missing dog on our local Facebook page. My first reaction was, "Oh god, what will people think? I'm an animal communicator that helps others find their lost animals but I can't find my own?" Whoa, talk about ego and imposter syndrome showing up even after you think you have learned that lesson. But I knew he was right. I knew in that moment and the hours to come this was not something I could do on my own. I was too close to the situation and needed help, so I shut down the self talk, removed my ego and posted it on Facebook and within minutes there were dozens of people offering assistance, sharing the post and hopping in their own cars to go out and look. My friends were checking on me to see if I was okay with absolutely no judgement. I started receiving private messages and texts and all of a sudden I was no longer alone in this. I even reached out to CT DOG GONE RECOVERY that I have worked with in the past to help people find their dogs to ask for help and again, no judgement. 

Before I knew it over 300 people had shared the post and though there were still no sightings I felt held, supported, seen, and part of something bigger than myself. To witness complete strangers offer of themselves for a person most didn't know and a dog they had never met was both heartwarming and eye opening and all I had to do was ask. It made me realize how many times in my life things could have felt or been easier if I had just asked for assistance. How many times did I push others away or fear asking due to my ego and self talk? The answer? Countless. 

Yesterday happened for a reason. It was a lesson that I had not learned yet in my life and this foster pup was the opportunity for me to embody the teaching he offered. To literally ask for help when I need it and trust that it will show up as it's meant to. 

You'll be happy to know that this story has a very happy ending with our foster pup after wandering around for twelve hours found his way to a house about a mile away from where we lost him. This beautiful loving family were able to gently coax him into their home, feed him and keep him safe until we could arrive. They had seen my post asking for help and they did. I am forever grateful to them for helping and for the lesson I learned in asking for it. 

   As we celebrated International Women's Day last we it made me aware of how women all around the world struggle to be seen. We have been taught to wear a mask of "I've got this" all while depleting ourselves emotionally, mentally and even physically caring for all others while ignoring our own basic needs.

   We are a good mom if we put our needs aside and care for our children first. We are a good wife if we take care of the house and our husbands, we are a good friend if we drop everything for the latest crisis and we are a good person if we volunteer our time or donate goods to our children's schools or various organizations. There are so many areas of a women's life that she is considered good if..... insert scenario.

   Sometimes it's a mere shower we give up, sometimes it's food, sometimes it's a moment of quiet, sometimes it's breaking plans that we were really looking forward to, sometimes it's saying yes when we really want to say no and sometimes it's all of the above and so much more. If there is anything left over and only if, then we allow ourselves a crumb of whatever that may be. Does this mean if we choice to make ourselves a priority that we aren't "good?" 

   This should never be normalized nor continue as a cycle handed down to our daughters. Self care is NOT a luxury - it IS a necessity. We can not nor should we ever try to pour from an empty cup as it leads to serious illness both mentally AND physically. Take a moment to ask yourself if your needs are being met and if they aren't give yourself permission to start with the smallest of steps in your awareness to those needs. 
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• It is NOT selfish to take a moment for yourself
• Ask for help from everyone in your household regardless of age (everyone can do a little something) this includes husbands EVEN if you are a stay at home mom. (the hardest most demanding job there is btw)
• Learn to say NO with no apologies
• Only say YES to what you really want to do
• Carve out specific time to be alone and enjoy your own company reconnecting to the most important relationship you have....YOU

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   We must be willing to make ourselves the priority and see ourselves as worthy and deserving of our needs by creating healthy boundaries for others to see and feel. I already know you are pure magic just as you are and deserve to dance with the spirit of the sun, love with the strength of the wild water, move with the mood of the moon and create with the will of the wind with no apologies, but do you?