Have you ever felt a pang of jealousy when a friend, coworker or even complete stranger seems to be advancing in their life "faster" than you? You know, that sinking stomach feeling that somehow they have something you can't or don't already have? You are smiling through gritted teeth for their success but in your mind you are secretly saying "why them and not me?" Yeah, we have all experienced that at one time or another in our lives whether we want to admit it or not. It's our human experience to live this life through our senses coveting the things and experiences of others instead of living fully in gratitude for the vibrational energy we already are with the ability to create whatever we want for ourselves if we could just get the heck out of our own vibrational way.
I recently experienced this myself and went into a very short lived spiral of a pity party only to come out on the other side with the realization IT ISN'T EVEN WHAT I WANT!!!!! This realization floored me as I began to unravel what it was that I perceived to be missing in my life in that moment.
You know what I was missing? The ONLY thing I was missing?
My connection to my own vibrational energy and that of the universe. (Feel free to call it whatever you feel is in alignment with your beliefs whether it be Source, The Divine, God, etc.)
So, I chose to get quiet. I sat in silence asking for my connection to be reinstated by feeling the gratitude of my life and the more grateful I became the more it magnified. My entire vibration shifted to one of hearing AND feeling what it was I truly wanted and not surprisingly it was not one materialistic thing.
I understood in that moment the reason I felt that pang of jealousy was not because I wanted what they had but because their perceived success was actually their alignment to source pointing out the GAP in my own alignment. It was the eye opening experience that I was depriving myself of my own connection to the laws of the Universe by coveting others.
The reason we covet is we perceive to be missing something that others have forgetting we are programmed to believe and measure our lives by using our senses: what we can see, touch, taste, feel and hear. We are not taught to BE the vibration of universal law and often get it confused as wanting "things".
And as I sat in silence I asked for words of wisdom to be shared with me in how to work with this new found understanding in my human experience and this is what I heard.
"When coveting others simply state "Thank you for showing me the space where I have fallen out of alignment with self. This is my reminder to reconnect and shift my understanding of what truly is"
Upon hearing this wisdom gifted to me by the Universe I felt the pressure in my chest and the sick feeling in my stomach disappear as my heart reopened to the alignment that awaited me.
The lesson is now so clear and I felt compelled to share it with you in hopes that it can assist you upon your journey anytime you feel yourself coveting another.
How many times has the thought, I should know better, crossed your mind after experiencing the same lesson over and over and over again with little to know difference in the outcome?
You want to live differently, you try and try and at times even think you are only to be left exactly where you started doubting yourself, your circumstances, what you really want and how to get there. Exasperated once again stating the belief you have embodied in your mind, "WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME????"
The answer? Absolutely nothing! This is the conditioning of your inner being and not being in alignment with the laws of the universe. Whether you believe them or not they are REAL and scientifically backed by plenty of evidence.
Our minds are powerful and they store all of our experiences and thoughts whether we perceive them as positive or negative, good or bad along with the thoughts and beliefs of others creating a hardwired systems in our physical bodies to react in ways that become unconscious and quite comfortable, even when those feelings and experiences aren't. How?
Because everytime we have a thought we are unconsciously pulling from the library of information we store fueled by the emotion we are feeling at that very moment created by a memory we have. Often times this leads us in the direction we don't really want to go or if we try to go a different way it pulls us back in with chatter to keep us exactly where we are. It's from years and years of living disconnected. We are either completely unconscious to this behavior or we don't know how to get out of it because the habit, the pattern has become so ingrained as our inner being.
So, what now? Simple, notice your thoughts, acknowledge them and change the script right? The power of positive thinking and all that.
Well, not entirely. There is actual science behind the body / mind connection and how it all works and if it were all that easy we would all be doing this all the time (including me) but instead we beat ourselves up for not knowing better, for measuring our lives with things, what we've accomplished or not accomplished, what we want but don't have yet, what others are doing, we focus on all that isn't right in our worlds dreaming for the moment then focusing on how it's not happening fast enough or in the way we thought it should and the list goes on. We live in habitual patterns we have created. What we need to do is learn how to UNLEARN.
Let's start here. Life is supposed to FEEL GOOD. Start by focusing on the frequency of how something FEELS. Whether an experience, racing thoughts or a particular situation.
If it FEELS good you are in alignment - you know it just by the way you show up differently in your life. You're not trying to make anything happen, it just does.
But if it doesn't feel good, you are NOT in alignment with your inner being and the laws of the universe which can feel like trying too hard, confusion, uncertainty, doubt, worry, stress and even anxiety. Yuck, who wants that.
What's next? Stop beating yourself up as you learn. You didn't learn to walk in a day nor did you know how to eat with a fork, read, write or speak. It, as with everything else, takes practice. When you find yourself going down your rabbit hole or in the frequency of feeling out of alignment you can choose to take charge of it. (or not, but you know how that goes)
Where there is willingness there is a way. Experts say the best way to realign with your inner being and the laws of the universe is through meditation. Take a few moments each morning to quiet your mind and focus on the frequency of YOU. Count your blessing, dream your dreams and feel the vibration growing. The more you do this the more it becomes a habit increasing your ability to create the conscious awareness around noticing your frequency more and more throughout your day.
Learn to lean into your desires stating what you want not what you don't want. Notice and appreciate what you have not what you don't have. Stop asking how, when, where, and why and fully commit to the understanding that you get exactly what you think about whether you want it or not (past, present, or future)
When you begin the journey to creating conscious awareness to your own thoughts and behaviors and realigning your inner being with the laws of the universe everything is possible from living the life of your dreams to actively changing your ancestral fate so remember as we know better we do better and we have the ability to do better each and every day.
If you had told me five years ago I would be where I am now, offering my psychic abilities while holding space for others in their healing, I would have immediately questioned, rationalized and then released the thought with a zillion reasons as to why there was no way. Thoughts such as :
🔥 Lil ole me? Have you seen so and so and how powerful they are?
🔥 Who am I to think I have what it takes to do X,Y and Z?
🔥 I haven't healed all my own sh*t, how can I possibly help others?
🔥 I don't know enough yet so I need to wait until I do.
Sound Familiar? Study after study shows that 80% of our thoughts are negative and up to 95% of our thoughts are repetitive from the day before. That is POWERFUL. We are literally living in an unconscious pattern of our thoughts and actions every single day affecting who we are and how we show up in our lives.....
The question is, is it possible to change this? And the answer is ABSOLUTELY YES!!!
With a willingness to participate actively and consciously you can begin to shift the narrative in your own brain to begin the process of rewiring it to think more positively. And when we are more positive, we are open to experiencing less fear and more of what lights us up! This is not to say you won't ever have a doubt as you will, but by having a positive mindset while bringing awareness to them you will see them for what they truly are, most often, irrational fears.
So how do we begin? Here are just a few suggestions as to what works for me so let's start making some waves 🌊 in your life!
🔥 Making gratitude a daily practice. Gratitude is a simple way to get into a positive mindset.
🔥 Meditation - the better your relationship is to your inner self, the better you will feel
🔥 Practice the art of conscious awareness to your thoughts revolving around self and your abilities.
🔥 Hit the books - read or listen to the masters of this understanding - my absolute favorite on this subject is Dr Joe Dispenza
🔥 AND.... surround yourself with people, places and things that support positive reinforcement in all areas of your life.
Because I chose to begin the journey to rewiring my brain (still processing........) I have stepped into a whole new world, doing things I never thought I would, (like being a part of an Anthology that releases in October with a chapter taken from my OWN book being published in 2023) with a career that feeds my soul, surrounded by people that constantly pour their greatness into me and it all started with a willingness to try.
The questions that remains is, Are you willing?
The reality of our human experience is we have a limited amount of time here and we do not know when that time will come to an end. Clients come to me because they are struggling on their current path, in search of their life purpose often misguided by watching others in comparison. Our journey's cannot be compared to anyone else's as our journey's are far different even when they may look the same. We could be experiencing the very same situation but how we perceive it through our own filtered experiences could be very different leaving us both on unique paths leading to opposite places.
We can choose to spend our time regretting our life’s path, our decisions, make excuses for them or even waste our time worrying about what’s next and what we think is missing. In the end it’s still all wasted time.
Instead, as a mirror for others, I share the ability to see all the different paths you have taken throughout your life as blessings for the lessons you have learned, the people you have met along the way and help you realize that no path was wrong for each one led you to another moment, another choice and another path.
If you are feeling lost on the path you are on I invite you to simply stop for a moment, close your eyes, take a slow deep breath in and connect to a reason to enjoy exactly where you are and what you have in this moment. Relish in the joy of now and know you are in this exact moment for a reason.
Never regret where you have been because whether you understand it or not it is the reason you are exactly where you are in this moment. If you don't like where you are feel free to choose a different path. If you are struggling and simply don't know how yet, feel free to connect with me to explore all the new and amazing possibilities that await you.
Our journey's do not have to be hard. Our ego's create the resistance and when we learn how to create conscious awareness to our energetic frequency and the connection to Universal Energy our resistance softens and we learn to choose our paths with no regret. We learn to choose the paths led by our hearts, not our heads and those paths my friends are simply spectacular.
In our perceptions of self and others we must begin to bring more awareness to the fact that every single person is doing the best they can with what they perceive to know in any given moment whether we believe it or not. We have absolutely no idea what is in someone's past, their unconscious and conscious thoughts or belief system that may be influencing their experience in this moment. You and they may simply be on a different frequency at the same moment thus creating what can be mistaken for a problem or conflict due to lack of understanding this.
Each day I witness people blaming others for just about everything because they think they know better than someone else about whatever the subject matter is and here is the truth, you actually may know better but maybe just maybe they don't know yet.... Everyone learns in their own divine timing (or not) which is why learning to communicate with an open heart without prejudice is so important.
I also sit with my clients who blame themselves for how they should have, could have, would have blah blah blah forgetting again they were doing the best they could with what they knew then.
What is so beautiful about our lives is we have the capacity to show kindness and compassion for ourselves and others, always able to shift our perspective, change our thoughts and create different outcomes with what we choose to learn from these experiences moment to moment, day to day, week to week and year to year."
It's a conscious choice to live in a higher frequency and when you learn how to, you release the guilt, the shame, the blame, the anger and instead you learn, you grow, you evolve and you begin your journey to mending your soul to begin living the life you are so deserving of.
One of the most sought after practices people want to learn from me is how I stay balanced, aligned, happy and in the flow as Universal Energy when there is so much hate, turmoil and pain in the world.
Let me preface by saying I wasn't always this way. For many years I called myself an "empath" which unconsciously and unintentionally invited into my energetic frequency everything that wasn't mine and the more I gave myself that title the more I attracted.
It wasn't until I fully understood in my human experience that though I am one with all energies and I have the ability to be empathetic and feel however I want towards whatever I want, it's NOT my responsibility to take everything on as mine.
I learned to become conscious of the triggers that supported the uncontrollable emotions of feeling helpless, scared, and often angry at what I was witnessing around me.
I stopped watching the news and reading the newspaper years ago and became very selective in what I allowed myself to see on social media as more and more platforms became available to show us the happenings of the world. I started questioning why the topics most discussed by media and people in general were about things that stirred up all kinds of low frequency energies.
I realized in a very short time that removing myself from these experiences I was actually helping myself to raise my own energetic vibration and began to live a very different life because of it. Some may see this as selfish and portrays a picture of me not caring which of course they are entitled to their opinion but those that know me know that's simply not true.
What I have come to understand is the ONLY control I have over any situation or experience is how I choose to react to it. By living in a higher frequency I am a better human. I have more compassion. I am able to listen and I am able to learn. When I am operating from a lower frequency all of that and more is lost.
That doesn't mean I don't feel some anger when I hear about certain things nor does it mean the sadness has left me completely. What it does mean is that I now use these emotions in these moments to propel me to love more, do better, be better and help when I can, where I can from the high frequency that can actually create the change we want to see in the world. Frequencies are very real and the more you learn about the frequency you live as, the more you can harness your own and be that change you say you want for our world. One conscious moment at a time, we can.
So, what have you been up to lately?
The above pictured quote is directed towards me AND my clients. I, just like them are always learning and growing as we experience a new way to be as Universal Energy. The more I go within to learn about myself and my own experiences the more I can share with others. Together we are moving past the beliefs and labels we have been given by others or the labels and titles we have brought upon ourselves. We are conscious to the worry about what others think, our experiences of the past and the traumas they have left behind. We are open to living our own truths, learning to stand in them and flow as the abundance that surrounds us with healthy boundaries and no apologies. We experience the darkness together and hold a candle for one another when it gets too dark. We are remembering who we were born as and the gifts we have to share. We are understanding our energetic frequency and harnessing the power of it, as it.
If you are ready to start your journey here is a great exercise to find out more about your beliefs, limiting beliefs, patterns and blocks.
Take a moment to write down ALL the titles/labels you hold onto for yourself and the ones that have been given to you. (mom, daughter, boss, employee, coach, artist, friend, etc) Notice how they make you feel, the beliefs they instill, the expectations, the feelings (all the feelz) Allow yourself to go deep and see if you see patterns or areas where these labels may be holding you back in your life. These very well could be signs of unconscious blocks to your abundance. If you want to go even deeper well, you know where to find me either in person or via zoom.
In a world that seems to constantly be "trending" from one thing to the next it's often misunderstood that what really influences another is the energetic frequency of the individuals. It's not the clothes you wear, the color of your hair, or even the job title you currently hold. It's not your car, it's not the size of your house, nor is it the people you know. These aspects of your life may get you noticed for the moment but the energy you carry behind them is what will carry you through your entire life remembering that life is not happening to you or even for you, it's happening as you, through you.
No matter how "big" our lives may become, we need to stay true to who we are, one with universal energy and the flow of it, as it, as well as the energetic footprint we are leaving behind. OUR legacy is our energy and that is what we should want to be remembered for.
I know how it feels. You want to yell from the mountain tops how good you feel since you have become more conscious in your life, more balanced. The downloads you now receive, the daily messages you notice, If only so and so would just "try" this or "that" or listen to me they would see it too. WRONG.
As much as we would love to, we simply can't save anyone from themselves. They are here to experience every single thing they need to just as we did. We may have what we consider great advice, insight from our own experiences, classes, mentors or even coaches we know about that would be extremely beneficial but if someone isn't ready.....they simply aren't.
NO amount of pleading, wishing or offers to help will ever be heard until they are ready to be. We can't rush someone into consciousness or change and honestly it's not our business to.
As a practitioner, I understand this. No amount of my want for others can ever change their destiny. That's a personal decision that each of us has to make to become conscious of our ancestral fate that we were never meant to live as and create a new destiny for ourselves.
So what can we do as we witness struggles in others? We can stop talking and listen intently to what they are saying and then we can ask the following:
1.) How can I support you? - let them take the time to answer.
2.) Do you just need to vent? - and if the answer is yes - let them and do not add your 2 cents
3.) Would you like me to share my experience or opinion on this matter? If the answer is no then allow that to be okay with you, remember it's NOT about you. If the answer is yes, keep it simple and about your experience, not what you think they should do and NOT a 30+ minute monologue of your life story.
4.) Do you just need to be held? Sometimes this is all someone really wants is a connection that feels safe.
These are beautiful ways to witness others whether they be children or adults. Holding space for another in the way they need is the best support you can give. In the meantime, focus your energy on your own journey and I promise, they are watching. And when they are ready and open to hearing more, in my experience they usually ask.
I've never seen any life transformation that didn't begin with someone being tired of their own bullsh*t. Sounds harsh right? Maybe, but it's also very true.
This can look very different depending on how you choose to live your life or the experiences you have had but it really boils down to being sick and tired of being sick and tired of something. It could be looking in the mirror and not liking the physical aspects of oneself or it may be the constant complaining that has you sick of hearing your own voice. For some, it's just a deep seeded feeling of emptiness with no real name to place to it due to the confusion and pain of what "it" even is. It's just a feeling of being lost and unsure. Whatever the "it" is may not even be your fault but it is and will always be your responsibility to begin your own healing journey.
I know, I was there. Almost eleven years ago, I looked in the mirror and couldn't stand what I saw. My whole being was wrapped around my outer image and I had the thought, if I just lose the weight, I'll be happy......and so I did. Over 100 pounds and 100 inches in less than a year. And though I looked great and received validation and compliments everywhere I went, I was still completely dead inside. The weight on the outside had never been the problem. It was the weight I carried within that was the root cause of it all.
And so it began. The journey to releasing the weight I carried in my heart, my soul, my head. And when I started to peel back the layers of my life and how I chose to feed my entire body emotionally, mentally and physically, I began to notice the changes coming from within. The more I peeled back, the more I learned and the more awareness I had to what I truly needed and wanted in my life. I was no longer lost, I had a sense of purpose and curiosity for what was possible and the weight slowly lifted.
It's a lifelong commitment I have made to myself to love exactly who I am at exactly where I am with compassion for myself every step of the way, even on the days I feel resistance.
Here are a few ways in which you can begin:
We are here for such a short time and we can spend all our time it at war with ourselves or we can learn to fall in love with our experience and love the life we have been gifted. It's a choice and it's yours.
Kelly McCarthy is a passionate universal energy teacher, intuitive practitioner and insightful sacred speaker located in Litchfield County, CT. Though not a published author yet, once in awhile she feels called to write about something that speaks to her.