We all have that friend or at least know someone who falls into this category. They are continuously adding to their portfolio of certifications, always traveling to exotic places you only dream of, have kids that are studying to be an astronaut and seem to have big exciting news everytime you bump into them and let's be honest, it's usually when they are looking their best and you are wearing sweats and sporting a very very messy bun. You stand there listening to their next greatest endeavor wishing at this moment you could just be swallowed up into the floor as you nod your approval looking around for the fastest escape route because omg I can't compete with THAT???!!!!!
Do you see yourself in either of these roles? I was the one looking for the escape route never thinking I had anything worthy of sharing and when I did it was for validation to help my low self esteem receive a very brief nudge of nurturing only to be left feeling worse after we parted because now I was comparing my stories to theirs and my battle to beat myself up for not being good enough continued.
WOW, what a waste of my time. Or was it?
What I have learned from friending my own shadow, understanding my ancestral fate and living in this human experience is vast and would take more than my weekly wisdom to share but here are a few extremely important nuggets that you may find resonate with you too.
First, let me start out by saying life is not a competition! "It is MY perception of MY own circumstances that hold ME back from every single thing I want."
When I accepted this like the jagged little pill it felt like at the time, I began to take personal responsibility to shift my thinking and my reaction which in turn allowed me to share even my smallest accomplishments with others because of my pride in my own growth over the need for validation that I was worthy of praise in the first place.
Second, It's okay to share my accomplishments and feel really good about them when I am conscious of my surroundings and intentions so be mindful of WHY, HOW and WHERE I choose to share my news.
In other words a wake is not where I want to hear about your next program you are launching nor after a friend shares her scary news in a group setting do I want to hear in the next breath about your book launch as we are all still processing what was said prior. (and yes, these scenarios have happened)
Third, No one and I mean NO ONE can make me feel anything. I am making myself feel in whatever way I do because of an experience or memory of an experience I have already had. How I feel about something is not the other person's problem. It's mine and up to me to shift my thoughts, feelings and actions with every experience I perceive to be happening "to me" as it's really happening as me, through me.
And lastly, I give myself permission to feel whatever it is I'm feeling with conscious awareness to why I'm feeling it when hearing others share their big news or even when I am sharing mine. If envy creeps in it is 100% my disconnection to my own frequency with the universe and can only be shifted by me. If I feel authentic happiness for them (or even myself) I know I am in full alignment and that's a very beautiful space to be in, as.
I know there will always be those that share from an inflated ego just as there will always be those that share for a desperate need of attention as I did but for every moment comes a lesson of self that with awareness we can learn and grow from.
The most profound lesson for me was learning I can humbly share my accomplishments with no need for approval. Instead it's a celebration of how far I have come and the relationship I have built with myself that I can share with others to show them what's possible in their own lives.
What are you celebrating right now in your life that you would like to take a moment to "brag" about. If you feel called to share just reply to this email and I will hold the space to celebrate the shit out of you and your news. You are worthy and deserving of it!
Kelly McCarthy is a passionate universal energy teacher, intuitive practitioner and insightful sacred speaker located in Litchfield County, CT. Though not a published author yet, once in awhile she feels called to write about something that speaks to her.