Yesterday we celebrated Mother’s Day and many a mother I spoke with over the last several days were hoping for a day to herself or at least a few hours where she was not being pulled in a different direction by different people wanting or needing something from her. The more I talk to women in my practice the more I realize though society says “Put Yourself First” there is a voice in our brain that simply says, “How can I? If I don’t do it, who will?”
The intention to spoil mom is there by all means but the stories of past mother’s day were of how brunch was a great idea but mom had to get the kids dressed, make sure everyone was loaded in the car to arrive on time and of course take care of the kids during brunch, only to have a full load of extra laundry to do when they got home because they wore more clothes than usual for a Sunday. How about making their kids feel special about the mass blob of clay they made in art class as your gift while the husbands get to play with their well thought out toys you purchase from the kids for Father’s Day. Now you have to find a place to showcase the blob and before you know it you have a cabinet of homemade “art” while dad is playing with his new Kubota in the backyard.. Breakfast in bed? Amazing idea, but now your kids have trashed the kitchen and climbed into bed with sticky fingers all over the sheets so what started as a beautiful idea in theory has become another chore for you because who else is going to clean the kitchen and wash the sheets? Do any of these stories resonate for you or maybe you can add your own?
Women inherently are caregivers, multitaskers, planners, and at all times are thinking 15 steps ahead of where they are right now so not to drop the ball or mess anything up for those that are counting on them to take care of things. Not only do moms keep a schedule for every single person living under their roof but are also inundated with details for everything their families are involved with all the while hearing society say, “It’s okay to put yourself FIRST.”
But is it really?
If all the moms just stopped for a day what in the world would happen and do we even want to f*k around and find this out? I know I surely don’t. Women are what keep the world moving in a direction of flow. We are the grease for the wheels, the storyteller of the tales, the holder of secrets, the protectors of our pride (think lioness) and the nurses to the sick. We are the glue and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
It’s not in our nature to place ourselves and our well being BEFORE our families so I know I will continue to move mountains (as will every mother I know) to make everything flow as best I can but I also understand without balance in my own life trying to balance everything else becomes even more challenging. It’s why my daily practice is so important to me. Without meditation and energy work I would not have balance and without balance in myself I could not find balance in anything else.
So yes, I may never come first because I am a mother but I’m okay with that because I CHOSE this and I am honored to be a mom. I may have a dozen or so stories of how Mother’s Day wasn’t what I wanted (remember I was also a restaurant owner - if you know you know - lol) but in whatever messy way that looked like they were trying their best to celebrate me and for that I am forever grateful.
So Celebrate 2nd place, maybe even 3rd, 7th or 10th depending on the size of your family all while remembering you may never fully come first but you also don’t have to put yourself dead last.
In a soul reading with a young women yesterday I felt this unbelievable amount of heaviness in my chest, throat and stomach. An incredible sadness filled my heart and tears stung my eyes as I felt her pain. She was literally carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders at the age of 25.
She at 25 was feeling all the same feelings I had in my 40's and as I shared everything that came through for her she sat with a far away look in her eyes nodding her confirmations.
I had been her, she was me and so many others. I realized what this young lady needed more than anything was to hear she wasn't alone.
I put my hand on her knee, told her she wasn't alone in her feelings and the weight of the world was not hers to bare. She looked at me, put her head in her hands and began to cry. This young women who was already so done with the life she perceived to have finally allowed someone in to see her pain.
20 minutes can barely scratch the surface of what comes through in a reading but what I was able to share with her gifted her the connection she so desperately needed, HOPE for her future and CLARITY in the steps she has the ability to take to create substantial change. She welcomed a hug from me with a smile on her face and a lightness in her heart that I felt radiating from her. And that's all it takes to be the change we want to see in the world.
It's not about picking up the battles and fighting them alongside someone sharing war stories while making them bigger and even stronger by adding to their energy;
It's about listening,
and holding space,
and letting someone know they are not alone in this life even when it feels like it.
But it's also about learning to ask for what you need and being open to receiving it.
In a world where the agendas of many are so blatantly confusing, the separation of people through ideas, thoughts and beliefs is becoming more and more and the scarcity mindset is running rampid due to the rising cost of absolutely everything it's no wonder the younger generations are now mistakenly carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders too.
Your empowering question of the week is this:
What area(s)s of your life do you tend to see or feel yourself as a victim? The more you are willing and open to taking a look at these areas the more you can give and receive without an unconscious agenda of your own. We can live differently but it's a choice and the choice is ours.
Kelly McCarthy is a passionate universal energy teacher, intuitive practitioner and insightful sacred speaker located in Litchfield County, CT. Though not a published author yet, once in awhile she feels called to write about something that speaks to her.