As an animal communicator it's extremely hard to accept the fact that I am able to connect with all kinds of animals as well as people but this one foster dog, in my care, was absolutely shutting me out from trying to find him. I spent the better part of my morning listening to the negative self talk of my failure, but as each hour passed of the dog being lost in the woods in the fog and rain, I began to feel better and here is why.
My husband told me to share our missing dog on our local Facebook page. My first reaction was, "Oh god, what will people think? I'm an animal communicator that helps others find their lost animals but I can't find my own?" Whoa, talk about ego and imposter syndrome showing up even after you think you have learned that lesson. But I knew he was right. I knew in that moment and the hours to come this was not something I could do on my own. I was too close to the situation and needed help, so I shut down the self talk, removed my ego and posted it on Facebook and within minutes there were dozens of people offering assistance, sharing the post and hopping in their own cars to go out and look. My friends were checking on me to see if I was okay with absolutely no judgement. I started receiving private messages and texts and all of a sudden I was no longer alone in this. I even reached out to CT DOG GONE RECOVERY that I have worked with in the past to help people find their dogs to ask for help and again, no judgement. Before I knew it over 300 people had shared the post and though there were still no sightings I felt held, supported, seen, and part of something bigger than myself. To witness complete strangers offer of themselves for a person most didn't know and a dog they had never met was both heartwarming and eye opening and all I had to do was ask. It made me realize how many times in my life things could have felt or been easier if I had just asked for assistance. How many times did I push others away or fear asking due to my ego and self talk? The answer? Countless. Yesterday happened for a reason. It was a lesson that I had not learned yet in my life and this foster pup was the opportunity for me to embody the teaching he offered. To literally ask for help when I need it and trust that it will show up as it's meant to. You'll be happy to know that this story has a very happy ending with our foster pup after wandering around for twelve hours found his way to a house about a mile away from where we lost him. This beautiful loving family were able to gently coax him into their home, feed him and keep him safe until we could arrive. They had seen my post asking for help and they did. I am forever grateful to them for helping and for the lesson I learned in asking for it.
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As we celebrated International Women's Day last we it made me aware of how women all around the world struggle to be seen. We have been taught to wear a mask of "I've got this" all while depleting ourselves emotionally, mentally and even physically caring for all others while ignoring our own basic needs.
We are a good mom if we put our needs aside and care for our children first. We are a good wife if we take care of the house and our husbands, we are a good friend if we drop everything for the latest crisis and we are a good person if we volunteer our time or donate goods to our children's schools or various organizations. There are so many areas of a women's life that she is considered good if..... insert scenario. Sometimes it's a mere shower we give up, sometimes it's food, sometimes it's a moment of quiet, sometimes it's breaking plans that we were really looking forward to, sometimes it's saying yes when we really want to say no and sometimes it's all of the above and so much more. If there is anything left over and only if, then we allow ourselves a crumb of whatever that may be. Does this mean if we choice to make ourselves a priority that we aren't "good?" This should never be normalized nor continue as a cycle handed down to our daughters. Self care is NOT a luxury - it IS a necessity. We can not nor should we ever try to pour from an empty cup as it leads to serious illness both mentally AND physically. Take a moment to ask yourself if your needs are being met and if they aren't give yourself permission to start with the smallest of steps in your awareness to those needs.
We must be willing to make ourselves the priority and see ourselves as worthy and deserving of our needs by creating healthy boundaries for others to see and feel. I already know you are pure magic just as you are and deserve to dance with the spirit of the sun, love with the strength of the wild water, move with the mood of the moon and create with the will of the wind with no apologies, but do you? "There are days you may only hear the whispers of your soul calling out to remind you of your magic within. And there will be days that it roars like an untamed fire burning brightly throughout you, radiating from you for all to see. There will even be the days you sit in complete silence wondering if it was all just a dream. And there will be the days that you turn your back on any belief there was any magic at all. This my friend is the human experience. The act of living among the chaos and noise in complete separation from self. This happens to every single one of us at times and shows the vulnerability and reality of our daily struggle to go within. No matter if you are merely a whisper today or a slight ember of yesterday, I see you. I know your struggle, I feel your struggle as I at times struggle too. Today I am a slow and steady burn feeling the magic, knowing it’s there, believing my fire lights the way for others and when needed can reignite the flame within you too." And if after reading this you are still unsure of your own fire simply pause......breathe in..........breathe out and become present in this moment. Hands on your heart ask yourself "What do I need in this moment to help me remember?" Then just listen. If your mind is still too busy or your heart is still untrusting of your worth list in your head or on paper the qualities of yourself you love. IF you still struggle, list the things you have heard others say about you. And IF you are still struggling? Get on a call with me. I will hold the space for you to see even for a moment what I see and we can go from there. Today is a day that can bring mixed emotions for many. It's a day where some people become sad they are not in a relationship questioning their self worth, while some couples are experiencing the tensions of living up to the expectation of what their loved ones even want on this day while others simply ignore the day all together.
Whether we are single or in a relationship we have the ability to share and receive love in so many beautiful ways. Love is not about the materialistic gift giving often connected to this day nor is it about only couples being in love. Love can be seen and felt everywhere if you are open to the interpretation of it. So, today, celebrate LOVE of all kinds. Love for ourselves, love for others, love for our lives, our families, our experiences, the love of nature, the planet, our freedoms, and anything else you feel called to bring into LOVE today. Love can be found in the appreciation of those around you and the life you live. That feeling you get when you embrace a friend, a family member, a child or your beloved fur baby. It's the sun shining down upon us warming us even on the coldest of days. The moon leading us on the darkest of nights. The stars twinkling above reminding us we are part of something so much bigger than we can see. The sand between your toes on a day at the beach. It's the trees shading the flowers in the spring keeping them cool. It's the rivers flowing freely for animals to drink from and It's the rain feeding the earth. So on this day, ask yourself:
So take a moment to explore love, lean into it, and even fall back in, I promise you're worthy and it's worth it As we walk gently and intentionally into the New Year, I am holding space for us all to forgive ourselves for our:
unconscious patterns limiting beliefs wronged perceptions un-kept boundaries and unspoken words. Let us be more conscious in releasing the need to seek counsel and validation from others without going within to ask ourselves first. May we spend more time collaborating and creating soulful connections that nurture our lives and less time staying with the crowds that don't. Remember the present moment is all that matters. Not what happened yesterday nor what may be tomorrow. That your energy attracts every single experience you have so just be mindful of your frequency. That true happiness and balance comes from within. No outer experience can ever take the place of this. That others people's opinion of you is none of your business and should never be the driving force of why or how you show up in your own story. That it's completely okay to be a mess and a masterpiece at the same time. Holy crap have a bad day, it's okay. Know that NO ONE is better than you so stop placing people on a damn pedestal. If you want to know what they know or do what they do - LEARN FROM THEM. Love yourself no matter what. The relationship you have with you is the foundation of the relationship you have with others “Twas a few days before Christmas and the magic so unclear.
As millions of people choose to live in their fear. Not celebrating the love, the lights with good cheer. The focus instead is our deaths are very near. So many people confused by the hate. The judgement, the anger is horrendous to date. 2 weeks, 9 months, now years in the making, not realizing the present it’s moments it’s taking. The sadness, the pain, the unknown in many’s thought, not understanding the choice can be taught. By going within and learning to heal, there are so many of us that understand this is real. The ability to overcome with gratitude and thought is never a thing controlled or even bought. It’s a process we learn from both science and spirit - listen to Dr Joe I promise it has merit. We can change, we can grow we can learn for the better. When we stop giving our power to those who are getters. So remember your magic, you are deserving of this. Not just during Christmas but in every day Bliss. - Kelly L McCarthy *Reference is of Dr. Joe Dispenza - an American neuroscientist, chiropractor, international lecturer, researcher, corporate consultant, author, and educator born and brought up in California, United States. Additionally, Dispenza is a faculty member at Quantum University in Honolulu, Hawaii; the Omega Institute for Holistic Studies in Rhinebeck, New York; and Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health in Stockbridge, Massachusetts. Our thoughts and beliefs come from places we may not even be conscious to. They begin in vitro and continue throughout our entire lives shaped by opinions, thoughts and experiences of ourselves and others. Each seen through a personal filter and processed with emotions and memories. Often times we attach to these beliefs and thoughts for lack of understanding there are other possibilities for ourselves.
These limiting thoughts and beliefs can feel like a plague as we try to navigate our lives with self doubt, questions and raw emotions of not being good enough. We want to move forward but the attachment to them is crippling. How do you break free from them? How do you change the narrative in your own head? Here are a few ways in which I work with clients around their beliefs.
Appreciation. It's the act of feeling deeper into gratitude for all our experiences. It's looking closely at the lessons we are receiving so as to better equip ourselves with the navigation of our path moving forward. It's accepting where we are at any given moment understanding we are spiritual beings having a human experience and it's okay to not have it all figured out yet. It's about understanding we can still appreciate every moment even when they literally suck because it's still a moment of living. It's still a moment of expansion. It's still another chance we are given to learn and grow in this lifetime. Appreciation is trusting that every experience serves a purpose even when we do not fully understand them. It's knowing that we are co creating as one energy even when we feel separate. Appreciation is a form of balance. A love for all beings. A conscious awareness to self, others, Mother Earth and the Animal Kingdom. Appreciation is the foundation of gratitude and gratitude is the foundation of love and the love of life itself. Trust the process, trust your journey and immerse yourself in the appreciation of your unique energetic footprint as every step you take not only impacts but imprints on every single being within our universe. Ask yourself, what do you appreciate? As we move into the holidays some people revert to the giddiness of a child while others are seeking the energy to just get through it all. The holidays can be both a blessing and a curse for many. One minute we are enjoying the lights, the music and all the yummy baked goods and the next we are in tears missing a loved one or in an anxious spiral of fear about the financial burden we feel in our perceived obligations to not only gift the ones we love with something but also our kid's friends, teachers and every single person that has provided a service to us throughout the year. Phew that's a mouthful and a mindful.
Whatever you are feeling this holiday season I want you to know it's ok and you are not alone. The holidays can trigger a lot of emotions and bring up a lot of unresolved trauma and pain. Whether you have lost a loved one, your kids are with your ex this year, you have a family member in the military thousands of miles away, or countless others reasons that make you feel like curling into the fetal position, you do not need to "RISE UP" for this occasion. #sorrynotsorry. I know because I am one of these people. It started in my childhood and for decades to follow I put on a brave face pretending the holidays were pure magic while inside I was screaming for them to just go away. Every cell in my body was overstimulated with the lights, the music, the crowds, the obligations, the presents, the expectations, to the point where I would just become numb. Everything I did became robotic and I had to shut myself down emotionally and mentally to just get through it all. By the time New Years Day rolled around I was exhausted, and quite frankly, angry. I turned all this around when one year my husband, children and I decided to open our restaurant doors on Christmas day to feed anyone in need of a hot meal while delivering pre packaged homemade meals to all the shut ins within our town. Our reasons for starting the tradition sadly were not 100% "pure" at the time. It was more about getting out of those dreaded family obligations however as we planned the event with the help of our kids, customers and friends it took on a life of it's own that actually became pure magic. We continued this tradition for the next three years, not to get out of anything but rather to continue with this beautiful tradition of community we created even just for a day. It absolutely changed my vision of what the season was truly about. It didn't mean my pain went away nor did it fix my childhood trauma, but it allowed me to channel my energy into something positive. Something that made me see the beauty of the season and be grateful for it even in my pain. Since closing the restaurant to pursue my dreams of being of service in a different way I find myself falling back into those moments of not enjoying the holidays like I did for that short period of time in my life. I'm once again overstimulated from the lights, the noise, the people, the expectations and even the financial aspects of feeling obligated to get my teen daughter's entire list (don't worry it's not happening) all while having a son in the military, thousands of miles away at the moment. And you know what? It's all ok. I don't have to put on a brave face anymore. The holidays though presented as bright and cheery aren't always what they appear to be. So, if I find myself singing along to Silent Night only to end up in a heap on the couch because it triggered me then you you know what? I'm going with it. If my son is unable to come home for the holidays guess what? I'm gonna ugly cry. If I need to lock myself away in Klarity Kottage for some peace and quiet away from all the noise then so be it, I will. Because not going numb this year and feeling everything I need to feel is awareness and awareness leads to growth and growth leads to expansion and expansion leads to healing. My wish for you this holiday season is that you truly see, even if only through my words, that you are not alone in your feelings. That one moment you can be flying with reindeer magic and the next you can be bunking with the Grinch. To see the light you must first be left in the dark. It's what you choose to do in the dark that makes a difference. You've heard that one right? I'm pretty sure it's a classic in the quote/meme world yet so many of us try and do it all the time.
Why is that? What keeps us from taking care of ourselves first? Is is guilt? Are we too busy? Is it lack of self worth? For me it was all that and more. I believed I was too busy. I believed I wasn't worthy. I believed that if I stepped back for even a moment that I would drop one of the balls I was juggling and everything would come crashing down. The guilt of even taking a moment for just me was insurmountable. How dare I. And then I had no choice. A hospitalization stay was my wakeup call to learn to start taking those moments and so I did. As hard as it was, I took that first moment and then another and those moments over time turned into an hour, that hour turned into a few and before I knew it I was taking full days and even consecutive days FOR ME. Because I finally understood that RECEIVING was necessary. For me to be able to function at my highest level in all areas of my life it was no longer optional. If I didn't take care of myself I would begin to die, literally or at least figuratively and for me there was no difference. I could no longer just exist, trying to survive each day and being stuck in the hamster wheel of my life. By creating moments I was creating the energy I needed to live intentionally. Now, years later, with my understanding of energy and the harnessing of my own combined with how I show up in the world both personally and professionally while giving and receiving, MATTERS. If you are trying to pour from an empty cup the energy you are sharing is not strong, it's not pure and it's not in your highest good. You are out of balance and when this happens we open the door to many physical as well as mental and emotional issues such as depression, resentment, anger and even illnesses. That being said I share this experience with you not for sympathy but to invite you to take a deeper look at your own existence and to think of November not only as the month of giving but also as the month of being open to receiving. You are allowed, you are worthy and you are incredibly deserving of refilling your cup. Heck even the flight attendants tell us to put our own mask on before assisting others. Why? Because they know that we can be of service to others in a far greater capacity if we take care of ourselves first. So plan out November as a month to refill your cup. Get OFF your phone more and get a massage, have coffee/tea with a friend, curl up with a good book, take a yoga class, sit down to color, journal or create, meet up for a walk, explore a new hobby (or come see me) Take this time consciously with no apologies. Know that when your cup is full your energetic frequency vibrates higher and the higher you are naturally and consciously aligned with universal energy as your own the more of an impact you can make not only your own life but the life of others too. Receive with an open mind and an open heart. We are all worthy of receiving all the universe has to offer and more. With love and intention in your highest good always, Kelly |
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AuthorKelly McCarthy is a passionate universal energy teacher, intuitive practitioner and insightful sacred speaker located in Litchfield County, CT. Though not a published author yet, once in awhile she feels called to write about something that speaks to her. Archives
October 2023
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