 In our perceptions of self and others we must begin to bring more awareness to the fact that every single person is doing the best they can with what they perceive to know in any given moment whether we believe it or not. We have absolutely no idea what is in someone's past, their unconscious and conscious thoughts or belief system that may be influencing their experience in this moment. You and they may simply be on a different frequency at the same moment thus creating what can be mistaken for a problem or conflict due to lack of understanding this.
Each day I witness people blaming others for just about everything because they think they know better than someone else about whatever the subject matter is and here is the truth, you actually may know better but maybe just maybe they don't know yet.... Everyone learns in their own divine timing (or not) which is why learning to communicate with an open heart without prejudice is so important. I also sit with my clients who blame themselves for how they should have, could have, would have blah blah blah forgetting again they were doing the best they could with what they knew then. What is so beautiful about our lives is we have the capacity to show kindness and compassion for ourselves and others, always able to shift our perspective, change our thoughts and create different outcomes with what we choose to learn from these experiences moment to moment, day to day, week to week and year to year." It's a conscious choice to live in a higher frequency and when you learn how to, you release the guilt, the shame, the blame, the anger and instead you learn, you grow, you evolve and you begin your journey to mending your soul to begin living the life you are so deserving of.
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 One of the most sought after practices people want to learn from me is how I stay balanced, aligned, happy and in the flow as Universal Energy when there is so much hate, turmoil and pain in the world.
Let me preface by saying I wasn't always this way. For many years I called myself an "empath" which unconsciously and unintentionally invited into my energetic frequency everything that wasn't mine and the more I gave myself that title the more I attracted. It wasn't until I fully understood in my human experience that though I am one with all energies and I have the ability to be empathetic and feel however I want towards whatever I want, it's NOT my responsibility to take everything on as mine. I learned to become conscious of the triggers that supported the uncontrollable emotions of feeling helpless, scared, and often angry at what I was witnessing around me. I stopped watching the news and reading the newspaper years ago and became very selective in what I allowed myself to see on social media as more and more platforms became available to show us the happenings of the world. I started questioning why the topics most discussed by media and people in general were about things that stirred up all kinds of low frequency energies. I realized in a very short time that removing myself from these experiences I was actually helping myself to raise my own energetic vibration and began to live a very different life because of it. Some may see this as selfish and portrays a picture of me not caring which of course they are entitled to their opinion but those that know me know that's simply not true. What I have come to understand is the ONLY control I have over any situation or experience is how I choose to react to it. By living in a higher frequency I am a better human. I have more compassion. I am able to listen and I am able to learn. When I am operating from a lower frequency all of that and more is lost. That doesn't mean I don't feel some anger when I hear about certain things nor does it mean the sadness has left me completely. What it does mean is that I now use these emotions in these moments to propel me to love more, do better, be better and help when I can, where I can from the high frequency that can actually create the change we want to see in the world. Frequencies are very real and the more you learn about the frequency you live as, the more you can harness your own and be that change you say you want for our world. One conscious moment at a time, we can.  So, what have you been up to lately?
The above pictured quote is directed towards me AND my clients. I, just like them are always learning and growing as we experience a new way to be as Universal Energy. The more I go within to learn about myself and my own experiences the more I can share with others. Together we are moving past the beliefs and labels we have been given by others or the labels and titles we have brought upon ourselves. We are conscious to the worry about what others think, our experiences of the past and the traumas they have left behind. We are open to living our own truths, learning to stand in them and flow as the abundance that surrounds us with healthy boundaries and no apologies. We experience the darkness together and hold a candle for one another when it gets too dark. We are remembering who we were born as and the gifts we have to share. We are understanding our energetic frequency and harnessing the power of it, as it. If you are ready to start your journey here is a great exercise to find out more about your beliefs, limiting beliefs, patterns and blocks. Take a moment to write down ALL the titles/labels you hold onto for yourself and the ones that have been given to you. (mom, daughter, boss, employee, coach, artist, friend, etc) Notice how they make you feel, the beliefs they instill, the expectations, the feelings (all the feelz) Allow yourself to go deep and see if you see patterns or areas where these labels may be holding you back in your life. These very well could be signs of unconscious blocks to your abundance. If you want to go even deeper well, you know where to find me either in person or via zoom. In a world that seems to constantly be "trending" from one thing to the next it's often misunderstood that what really influences another is the energetic frequency of the individuals. It's not the clothes you wear, the color of your hair, or even the job title you currently hold. It's not your car, it's not the size of your house, nor is it the people you know. These aspects of your life may get you noticed for the moment but the energy you carry behind them is what will carry you through your entire life remembering that life is not happening to you or even for you, it's happening as you, through you. No matter how "big" our lives may become, we need to stay true to who we are, one with universal energy and the flow of it, as it, as well as the energetic footprint we are leaving behind. OUR legacy is our energy and that is what we should want to be remembered for.  I know how it feels. You want to yell from the mountain tops how good you feel since you have become more conscious in your life, more balanced. The downloads you now receive, the daily messages you notice, If only so and so would just "try" this or "that" or listen to me they would see it too. WRONG. As much as we would love to, we simply can't save anyone from themselves. They are here to experience every single thing they need to just as we did. We may have what we consider great advice, insight from our own experiences, classes, mentors or even coaches we know about that would be extremely beneficial but if someone isn't ready.....they simply aren't. NO amount of pleading, wishing or offers to help will ever be heard until they are ready to be. We can't rush someone into consciousness or change and honestly it's not our business to. As a practitioner, I understand this. No amount of my want for others can ever change their destiny. That's a personal decision that each of us has to make to become conscious of our ancestral fate that we were never meant to live as and create a new destiny for ourselves. So what can we do as we witness struggles in others? We can stop talking and listen intently to what they are saying and then we can ask the following: 1.) How can I support you? - let them take the time to answer. 2.) Do you just need to vent? - and if the answer is yes - let them and do not add your 2 cents 3.) Would you like me to share my experience or opinion on this matter? If the answer is no then allow that to be okay with you, remember it's NOT about you. If the answer is yes, keep it simple and about your experience, not what you think they should do and NOT a 30+ minute monologue of your life story. 4.) Do you just need to be held? Sometimes this is all someone really wants is a connection that feels safe. These are beautiful ways to witness others whether they be children or adults. Holding space for another in the way they need is the best support you can give. In the meantime, focus your energy on your own journey and I promise, they are watching. And when they are ready and open to hearing more, in my experience they usually ask.  I've never seen any life transformation that didn't begin with someone being tired of their own bullsh*t. Sounds harsh right? Maybe, but it's also very true. This can look very different depending on how you choose to live your life or the experiences you have had but it really boils down to being sick and tired of being sick and tired of something. It could be looking in the mirror and not liking the physical aspects of oneself or it may be the constant complaining that has you sick of hearing your own voice. For some, it's just a deep seeded feeling of emptiness with no real name to place to it due to the confusion and pain of what "it" even is. It's just a feeling of being lost and unsure. Whatever the "it" is may not even be your fault but it is and will always be your responsibility to begin your own healing journey. I know, I was there. Almost eleven years ago, I looked in the mirror and couldn't stand what I saw. My whole being was wrapped around my outer image and I had the thought, if I just lose the weight, I'll be happy......and so I did. Over 100 pounds and 100 inches in less than a year. And though I looked great and received validation and compliments everywhere I went, I was still completely dead inside. The weight on the outside had never been the problem. It was the weight I carried within that was the root cause of it all. And so it began. The journey to releasing the weight I carried in my heart, my soul, my head. And when I started to peel back the layers of my life and how I chose to feed my entire body emotionally, mentally and physically, I began to notice the changes coming from within. The more I peeled back, the more I learned and the more awareness I had to what I truly needed and wanted in my life. I was no longer lost, I had a sense of purpose and curiosity for what was possible and the weight slowly lifted. It's a lifelong commitment I have made to myself to love exactly who I am at exactly where I am with compassion for myself every step of the way, even on the days I feel resistance. Here are a few ways in which you can begin:
We are here for such a short time and we can spend all our time it at war with ourselves or we can learn to fall in love with our experience and love the life we have been gifted. It's a choice and it's yours.  We have been taught or at least heard of in our lifetime that Sunday is meant for a day of rest. I have noticed more and more the evolution of the tagline "Self Care Sunday" popping up in every spiritual group, coaching practice and social media feeds. I have found this a bit misleading in my own world as if somehow only one day is meant for self care and that self care means booking a massage, or lunch with friends, or whatever outward experience makes you feel better.
What if self care became a conscious choice each and every day and we embodied it as an outward AND inward experience? A beautiful balance of taking care of ourselves as well as enjoying the experiences that help support our self care? What would this look like for you? Examples of how I support my inner self care:
So ask yourself this, what does inner and outer self care look like for me and how can I start taking steps in my everyday to implement what I truly need for alignment and balance?  Don’t ever let a bad day or days trick you into thinking you have a bad life. We all have experienced them at one point in our life. The days that make us feel inferior, like nothing is going our way no matter what we try to do. The days where we just want to stay in bed and forget it all. The days that feel so hard that we feel they will never end. We go down the rabbit hole looking for all the bad stuff to compile in our heads to justify and confirm that this thought, this belief, is absolute truth. In my own experience years ago, this became a habitual pattern where I created a belief system around these days believing that because of them my entire life sucked. I got so caught up in the actual days that I was unable to even catch a glimpse of anything good. I was so lost and broken that it was just easier to blame all my stuff on these days instead of taking personal responsibility for owning my part in it. The habit was deep and it was easier to stay there than to begin the process of true change. People would try to point out the good things and I became like a venomous snake ready to defend my belief with a slide presentation in my mind ready to share with all the crap I had in my life to back me up. That was a very hard pill to swallow and took some serious self reflection to begin to change this pattern. The reflection began when I was introduced to my first book in the self help area. The book was called The Secret, by Rhonda Byrne. Many of you know my profound love for this simple yet powerful book and its concept of The Law of Attraction. It opened the door to beginning my spiritual journey and has become a deep part of my being and teachings. The understanding that we ATTRACT exactly what we ARE in every moment of everyday whether we are conscious of it or not. You may be asking “But how does this affect me?” Well, it’s simple. Whatever it is you are thinking or doing at any given moment is actually attracting more of that same energy into your life. If you are focusing on all the bad things you will attract more bad things, if you think your life is hard then yes it will feel hard and you will attract more experiences that will confirm this. Now you may be asking, “Well, what can I do about this?” This is the challenging part. To first accept your role in it and then begin the steps.
 As an animal communicator it's extremely hard to accept the fact that I am able to connect with all kinds of animals as well as people but this one foster dog, in my care, was absolutely shutting me out from trying to find him. I spent the better part of my morning listening to the negative self talk of my failure, but as each hour passed of the dog being lost in the woods in the fog and rain, I began to feel better and here is why.
My husband told me to share our missing dog on our local Facebook page. My first reaction was, "Oh god, what will people think? I'm an animal communicator that helps others find their lost animals but I can't find my own?" Whoa, talk about ego and imposter syndrome showing up even after you think you have learned that lesson. But I knew he was right. I knew in that moment and the hours to come this was not something I could do on my own. I was too close to the situation and needed help, so I shut down the self talk, removed my ego and posted it on Facebook and within minutes there were dozens of people offering assistance, sharing the post and hopping in their own cars to go out and look. My friends were checking on me to see if I was okay with absolutely no judgement. I started receiving private messages and texts and all of a sudden I was no longer alone in this. I even reached out to CT DOG GONE RECOVERY that I have worked with in the past to help people find their dogs to ask for help and again, no judgement. Before I knew it over 300 people had shared the post and though there were still no sightings I felt held, supported, seen, and part of something bigger than myself. To witness complete strangers offer of themselves for a person most didn't know and a dog they had never met was both heartwarming and eye opening and all I had to do was ask. It made me realize how many times in my life things could have felt or been easier if I had just asked for assistance. How many times did I push others away or fear asking due to my ego and self talk? The answer? Countless. Yesterday happened for a reason. It was a lesson that I had not learned yet in my life and this foster pup was the opportunity for me to embody the teaching he offered. To literally ask for help when I need it and trust that it will show up as it's meant to. You'll be happy to know that this story has a very happy ending with our foster pup after wandering around for twelve hours found his way to a house about a mile away from where we lost him. This beautiful loving family were able to gently coax him into their home, feed him and keep him safe until we could arrive. They had seen my post asking for help and they did. I am forever grateful to them for helping and for the lesson I learned in asking for it.  As we celebrated International Women's Day last we it made me aware of how women all around the world struggle to be seen. We have been taught to wear a mask of "I've got this" all while depleting ourselves emotionally, mentally and even physically caring for all others while ignoring our own basic needs.
We are a good mom if we put our needs aside and care for our children first. We are a good wife if we take care of the house and our husbands, we are a good friend if we drop everything for the latest crisis and we are a good person if we volunteer our time or donate goods to our children's schools or various organizations. There are so many areas of a women's life that she is considered good if..... insert scenario. Sometimes it's a mere shower we give up, sometimes it's food, sometimes it's a moment of quiet, sometimes it's breaking plans that we were really looking forward to, sometimes it's saying yes when we really want to say no and sometimes it's all of the above and so much more. If there is anything left over and only if, then we allow ourselves a crumb of whatever that may be. Does this mean if we choice to make ourselves a priority that we aren't "good?" This should never be normalized nor continue as a cycle handed down to our daughters. Self care is NOT a luxury - it IS a necessity. We can not nor should we ever try to pour from an empty cup as it leads to serious illness both mentally AND physically. Take a moment to ask yourself if your needs are being met and if they aren't give yourself permission to start with the smallest of steps in your awareness to those needs.
We must be willing to make ourselves the priority and see ourselves as worthy and deserving of our needs by creating healthy boundaries for others to see and feel. I already know you are pure magic just as you are and deserve to dance with the spirit of the sun, love with the strength of the wild water, move with the mood of the moon and create with the will of the wind with no apologies, but do you?  "There are days you may only hear the whispers of your soul calling out to remind you of your magic within. And there will be days that it roars like an untamed fire burning brightly throughout you, radiating from you for all to see. There will even be the days you sit in complete silence wondering if it was all just a dream. And there will be the days that you turn your back on any belief there was any magic at all. This my friend is the human experience. The act of living among the chaos and noise in complete separation from self. This happens to every single one of us at times and shows the vulnerability and reality of our daily struggle to go within. No matter if you are merely a whisper today or a slight ember of yesterday, I see you. I know your struggle, I feel your struggle as I at times struggle too. Today I am a slow and steady burn feeling the magic, knowing it’s there, believing my fire lights the way for others and when needed can reignite the flame within you too." And if after reading this you are still unsure of your own fire simply pause......breathe in..........breathe out and become present in this moment. Hands on your heart ask yourself "What do I need in this moment to help me remember?" Then just listen. If your mind is still too busy or your heart is still untrusting of your worth list in your head or on paper the qualities of yourself you love. IF you still struggle, list the things you have heard others say about you. And IF you are still struggling? Get on a call with me. I will hold the space for you to see even for a moment what I see and we can go from there. |
AuthorKelly McCarthy is a passionate universal energy teacher, intuitive practitioner and insightful sacred speaker located in Litchfield County, CT. Though not a published author yet, once in awhile she feels called to write about something that speaks to her. Archives
December 2022
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