I wasn't always able to trust the process or take a leap of faith to try something new. I would spend days, weeks, even months trapped in my mind wrestling with all the WHAT IF's of whatever it was at that moment. When I had enough of my own self chatter I would then look for validation from others for my ideas. At the first sign of uncertainty or dissatisfaction I would drop them like a hot potato obviously unworthy of follow through because so and so said so. This pattern left me frozen from moving forward with things I really wanted to do in my life.
Over many years of shadow work and going deep within to learn to not only hear but trust my own inner voice I am proud to say that I no longer heed the warnings of any WHAT IF for more than a few seconds.
WHY you ask?
Because if you were to look at life as we know it the entire experience could be a WHAT IF - so why waste your time on such pettiness looking for the downside of it all?
What if you were to play it safe, live a mediocre life with a safe job, making safe decisions, keeping it low key only to lose that job anyway?
If you can "fail" at something you don't love then why not just go after what it is you want the first time knowing there are absolutely no guarantees either way?
Why allow fear to run your life when there is a whole other side you openly have access to at anytime you want it? That otherside is called LOVE and it is waiting for you to step into it for yourself, others, and even the frequency of the planet.
When we move with love:
All through a higher frequency that brings about feelings of happiness, self balance, ease and pure gratitude becoming the example for others of what is possible for themselves.
Live as Love, not fear and watch the amazing opportunities and possibilities that begin to show up for you in your life. The more we do this, the better life gets.
I was no longer willing to be held captive to all the what if's in life. Instead I am fully embracing every new possibility with an open mind and an open heart full of LOVE.
Sometimes we all need that reminder to slow down and take stock of where we are while asking ourselves if what we are doing today is keeping us exactly where we are or if we are moving towards what it is we really want.
We all have grand dreams for our lives but often get lost in the day to day realities leaving these dreams on a back burner until we feel we can focus on them again or sometimes abandoning them altogether because we don't feel they are obtainable, it's too hard or we don't know where to start.
I know, I've been there too. It wasn't until I understood the deeper levels of Universal Law that I began to shift my focus on what's possible for myself and it's truly this simple.
✨ FOLLOW THE JOY IN YOUR LIFE,
✨ HAVE FUN and
✨ CREATE CONSCIOUS CONNECTIONS!
Sounds easy enough yet I witness countless people daily that only access their pain, their sadness, their problems, their stresses, their stories or the stories of others. Caught up in the latest news cycle, political dramas, family dramas, work dramas and the list goes on and on.
Just the other day I ran into an old acquaintance and asked how they were and they literally listed every single thing that was wrong in their life and when I asked them what was GOOD they struggled to find something. WHY? Because they are always focused on what they perceive to be wrong.
What I've learned more than anything is everything comes down to this one word - CONNECTION
It is the key to everything. When we do not feel we are supported, seen or heard we feel disconnected and when we are disconnected we cannot see past our own "stuff" thus leaving us to our own devices to fill our voids and our pain with things that may not be in our best interest and certainly keep our wildest dreams at bay.
So how do we shift our way of being? By bringing connection into our lives. Actively and intentionally creating deeper conscious connections to ALL.
CONNECTION IS EVERYWHERE:
✨ Yourself - learning how to be alone and not feel lonely (meditation is a great way to start this journey) or book a Universal Energy Session to reconnect
✨ Others - join a class / group (Meetup is a great resource for this just search your interests) or have a game night / potluck with friends
✨ Nature - take a walk without your phone and use all your senses to notice your surroundings while staying as present as possible
✨ Volunteer your time somewhere - there are so many places in need of support - when we help others it raises our frequency too
✨ JOY + Happiness - you can literally find this in the smallest of moments if you choose (smiling everywhere I go does this for me) also a long hug from a friend, spending time snuggling my animals, anything that makes me laugh (which is a lot)
✨ Peace - it's okay to walk away from anything that is creating stress or anxiety in your life even if only for a moment to pause and breathe and regain connection to self.
When connected we are all stronger, better, more able to navigate our day to day because we are supported, we are seen and we know even if only for the moment we are not alone.
We ALL need conscious connections that support us, our lives and our dreams for the future so ask yourself these empowering questions today:
How connected am I to myself body, mind and soul?
Do the connections I have with others support me?
How connected am I to feeling Joy and Happiness?
What can I do today to create deeper connections in my life?
How connected am I to my dreams and aspirations?
The more consciously connected you are the more present you become and the more present you become the more aware you are and the more aware you are the more you can learn to create the life of your dreams.
Happy New Year
It's been a year full of shifts for me as well as my clients. Some of these shifts were made to move us forward into a new way of being while others sent us backwards to either learn, understand or heal from.
Neither shift can be seen as good or bad, right or wrong, they were just a part of our human experience that is ever evolving as we allow ourselves to look within through a lens of truth which at times can be painful and lonely.
This truth, sometimes in the form of my shadow side had me questioning, doubting, and even judging myself for working with others on their path as most times my own path was full of chaos and confusion.
With the New Year approaching, last week I starting asking myself some empowering questions as to what I truly want for the upcoming year as many of us do. Some call them resolutions, some call them intentions but this year I am calling them REALIZATIONS.
Realization according to the dictionary is an act of becoming fully aware of something as a FACT as well as the fulfillment or achievement of something desired or anticipated.
Yup, all the feelz with this one! One of the signs I receive when fully aligned is FULL body chills. Even upon writing this they are sweeping over me again. So as we move into 2023 my wish for you is this,
REALIZE what it is you want, state it as FACT and FEEL the fulfillment of it before it even comes to fruition.
Here are some of MY Realizations for 2023:
🔥 I realize my immediate family comes first in my life no matter what
🔥 I realize that I can be so much more grateful than I actually am.
🔥 I realize that I don't always practice what I preach
🔥 I realize I need to learn how to fully forgive myself as well as others
🔥 I realize that time with my friends is a necessity and not a luxury
🔥 I realize that materialistic "stuff" does not make me happy and it's time to clear it out.
🔥 I realize I can't do it all on my own personally OR professionally and sometimes need support
🔥 I realize I am worthy of creating the life I want
🔥 I realize I do not need to offer 10+ ways to work with me
🔥 I realize that when I lead from a place of pure Happiness everything falls into place naturally and beautifully.
Oh believe me, I could go on and on (and I did in my own journal, but you get the idea.) I would love to hear from you what your plans are for the New Year whether you call them resolutions, goals, intentions or realizations.
In gratitude I thank you for for being a part of my community for another year. May 2023 be a year of Gratitude, Connection, Fulfillment, Realization, Growth, and Happiness along the way.
Happy New Year - Aho.
Over the last several weeks I have been falling in and out of alignment. The holidays trigger so many emotions in me that sometimes it takes all that I have learned to stay present and grounded while other times my mind goes to all that I dislike about Christmas leading me down the rabbit hole of why.
And what I have come to fully understand is what haunts me the most is the Christmas spirit I have taken from my children who are now basically adults at 17 and 21 that feel the same way as I do about the holidays.
My years of
comparing and competing
spending time with people I didn't want to,
separation from the ones I did,
AND no healthy boundaries,
left me full of shame, guilt, fear and anger and I took it all out on Christmas day itself.
My actions, my thoughts, my behaviors imprinted and impacted my kids then and more so now as my daughter recently said to me ,"Mom, I know you are stressed about Christmas because of the money so please don't buy me anything." It broke my heart to know that her entire belief in Christmas revolves around the monetary value of a gift.
Yikes!!!!!!!! That was a big nut to crack, accept and take full responsibility of knowing I created that belief.
I understand now because it is exactly what was instilled in me growing up with divorced parents and a father that loved to show up every Xmas day leaving the price tags on everything teaching me all the wrong lessons as we were made to sit and patiently watch everyone open each gift from him so we could be sure to validate his ego and know how much he spent leaving me with the belief that if I didn't spend a lot on other's I wasn't showing them love.
So the time has come to FORGIVE not only myself but all those around me that just didn't (and still don't) know any better. I am taking back the spirit of Christmas for myself, my kids and my husband so that no other generation has to endure "MY Christmas Story".
We are never meant to live in the stories, the trauma and pain of our ancestors. We are meant to live in the hopes, dreams, and possibilities of our children's children and that is what I plan to do moving forward.
The BEST part is, it's NEVER too late to create conscious awareness and the more we are willing to look, accept and forgive the parts of ourselves that are damaged or in pain the more we have the ability to make changes. If we continue to ignore or mask this side of ourselves we will never be free from the stories we have been living. As we know better, we have the choice to DO better.
And I deserve better and so does my family so for myself, for them and the generations to come I am taking the reins of my holidays back in my own hands (sorry Santa) and creating NEW memories, NEW traditions, NEW stories that we can all cherish for years to come.
And if you are struggling I hope each of you finds some peace and comfort from my experience knowing you are not alone and have the choice to create a change.
COURAGE. The word in itself is extremely powerful and holds a very high frequency in nature. We often see a picture of a lion as a representation of it, a person standing in a superhero pose or even someone scaling the side of a mountain to show strength, power and the ability to face our fears. This is known as Physical Courage and is definitely the most prevalent in society as to how to define courage making it #1 on our list of Types of Courage.
What often goes unnoticed are all the other forms of courage that people experience on a daily basis that don't necessarily seem like courage but absolutely are and should be celebrated as such.
The second is Social Courage. This is the ability to be yourself without apology and without conforming to what others believe is right for you whether it's your style, your beliefs or the job you choose that brings you pure joy but doesn't necessarily make sense to societal norm.
The third is Moral Courage. This is the strength to do the right thing even when it's uncomfortable, unpopular or leaves you standing completely alone making it one of the more difficult types of courage to have at times.
The fourth is Emotional Courage. This is the capacity to feel ALL of your emotions, whether you perceive them to be good or bad, without attachment, shame or guilt for feeling them.
The fifth is Intellectual Courage. This is one of my specialties when working with clients. It is the skill of learning what you need to unlearn to then relearn a new way with an open mind of what is possible. This one can be extremely difficult due to the human ego that loves to stay stuck where it is through conditioned patterns and beliefs created not just by you but outside influences from birth until now.
The Six is Spiritual Courage (and THIS is my life's work as a human) is the ability to understand and live with purpose through deep connections to self, others, mother earth and the animal kingdom as one energy co-creating with the understanding you are imprinting and impacting every experience as well as every being on the planet whether you are conscious to it or not with your words, thoughts and actions.
There are many sides to courage and each one again is extremely powerful and worthy of celebrating. So the next time you question your courage think of the many forms courage shows up as and honor your courage in whatever way it shows up for you today.
Before you go rushing in to save someone, make sure you aren't interrupting their Karma.
I think this is something that all humans struggle with at times in their lives whether family, friend or even a complete stranger as we never want to witness the suffering of another.
It can be extremely difficult to watch people making choices that are not in their highest good and of course we want to be there to support, love, hold space and sometimes even fix the problem for them if we can, but that's not always in the highest good even if we think it is.
What I have found as a spiritual teacher for those on their path is there are many lessons that need to be learned by oneself. We must allow these lessons, even the extremely painful ones, to unfold, to be experienced so that the lesson has the opportunity to be learned.
If we are continuously navigating for another, they will not create conscious awareness in their own lives to create a different path for themselves, thus leaving the lesson unlearned.
The cycle goes unbroken repeating over and over until they wake up to their own understanding, they hit their own rock bottom or the karma continues with them for another lifetime.
So, the question is, how can we help?
Again, though suffering is never pleasant to experience or witness, sometimes it is necessary for someone to consciously choose a different path for themselves. It is often in this discomfort that many people seek the changes they need to make to live a very different life.
The meme above is something I experience with new clients all the time. They have the tap from the universe, usually a nudge of some kind be it physical, emotional or mental to start their journey towards a spiritual awakening. Though I'm not particularly a fan of this now saturated terminology, I use it loosely here as an understanding of what people are referring to as the shift they are experiencing.
For me, a spiritual awakening is creating conscious awareness of you and how you show up in your own life. It's bringing awareness to your choices, your thoughts, your visions for your future and most importantly your unique energetic footprint and how consciously or unconsciously you are imprinting and impacting every single experience you perceive to be happening to you instead of as you, through you.
When people start creating this awareness they begin to experience more and more an opening to a connection they forgot they had. We all have these gifts we just need to learn to tap back into them. The deeper they go the more their gifts begin to blossom. They begin to witness synchronicities. The world starts to look and feel different. It's all so exciting to be living in the tap of Universal Energy.
And many, so excited for the spiritual connection they are now experiencing want to rush the entire process, take the next class, read the next book or whatever they believe will take them to the next level forgetting the most important aspect of this entire experience.
We are here for such a short time if you really think about it so learning to BE and STAY grounded in the present moment as often as possible is key to living your BEST human experience.
It's not about leveling up or even getting anywhere else. It's about fully and completely accepting. loving and finding the joy of NOW. Not tomorrow, not when you receive whatever it is you think you want, but NOW and only NOW.
Only then can we say we are actively and consciously taking part in our own journey in our highest good. So lean into the vibration of JOY focusing on what is good FIRST. The more you focus on all that is GOOD the better you feel creating a match with universal energy and the flow of it's laws. It's time to break the patterns, break the cycles, break the chains and live your best life now for the NOW.
I invite you after reading this to take a moment to focus on ALL that is good in your life right now and if you feel yourself shifting to anything that does not feel good I invite you to put a pen in your hand and start writing all that is good. I promise there is a stream of beautiful energy that awaits you and though it won't dissolve anything that is not good it does put your frequency at a different level allowing you to see from a different perspective those pesky other things as "not as bad as you think."
We are all so deserving of more than we allow ourselves to receive and I am here to help you open the door to that new way of life. Whether it's a one time experience or you work with me on a regular basis I am here to hold the space you need to take the first step. It's never too late to make a new choice, a new path or start a whole new way to live.
My 17 year old daughter called me on a recent Sunday evening from work completely exhausted and stated she needed a Mental Health Day and would it be okay if she stayed home from school on Monday.
With absolutely NO hesitation I said "Absolutely."
My daughter like many others of all ages are living in SURVIVAL MODE and it's simply NOT okay. The amount of people who are just trying to get through the day only to repeat it day in and day out is the true pandemic that is destroying our world.
People are constantly anxious, worried, angry, exhausted and in pain emotionally, mentally and sometimes even physically because they do not have the necessary coping mechanisms to handle life. Add to that the rules created by society that do not make taking care of yourself a priority so you decide to do what's not necessarily in your best interest because it's easier to just push through than deal with the consequences.
Watch the Facebook Live for context.
As a holistic practitioner that works with people to create conscious awareness around a new way to live it is often a struggle for me to share them with my daughter. She watched and learned from me, a pro, that lived in pure survival mode most of her life. The best I can do is to continue to live by example and be there to support her in whatever way that looks like depending on the situation.
Today it was
As I know better, I do better and I will continue to share with all those open to learning the many ways in which I have learned to LIVE in this world without having to merely survive it.
Have you ever felt a pang of jealousy when a friend, coworker or even complete stranger seems to be advancing in their life "faster" than you? You know, that sinking stomach feeling that somehow they have something you can't or don't already have? You are smiling through gritted teeth for their success but in your mind you are secretly saying "why them and not me?" Yeah, we have all experienced that at one time or another in our lives whether we want to admit it or not. It's our human experience to live this life through our senses coveting the things and experiences of others instead of living fully in gratitude for the vibrational energy we already are with the ability to create whatever we want for ourselves if we could just get the heck out of our own vibrational way.
I recently experienced this myself and went into a very short lived spiral of a pity party only to come out on the other side with the realization IT ISN'T EVEN WHAT I WANT!!!!! This realization floored me as I began to unravel what it was that I perceived to be missing in my life in that moment.
You know what I was missing? The ONLY thing I was missing?
My connection to my own vibrational energy and that of the universe. (Feel free to call it whatever you feel is in alignment with your beliefs whether it be Source, The Divine, God, etc.)
So, I chose to get quiet. I sat in silence asking for my connection to be reinstated by feeling the gratitude of my life and the more grateful I became the more it magnified. My entire vibration shifted to one of hearing AND feeling what it was I truly wanted and not surprisingly it was not one materialistic thing.
I understood in that moment the reason I felt that pang of jealousy was not because I wanted what they had but because their perceived success was actually their alignment to source pointing out the GAP in my own alignment. It was the eye opening experience that I was depriving myself of my own connection to the laws of the Universe by coveting others.
The reason we covet is we perceive to be missing something that others have forgetting we are programmed to believe and measure our lives by using our senses: what we can see, touch, taste, feel and hear. We are not taught to BE the vibration of universal law and often get it confused as wanting "things".
And as I sat in silence I asked for words of wisdom to be shared with me in how to work with this new found understanding in my human experience and this is what I heard.
"When coveting others simply state "Thank you for showing me the space where I have fallen out of alignment with self. This is my reminder to reconnect and shift my understanding of what truly is"
Upon hearing this wisdom gifted to me by the Universe I felt the pressure in my chest and the sick feeling in my stomach disappear as my heart reopened to the alignment that awaited me.
The lesson is now so clear and I felt compelled to share it with you in hopes that it can assist you upon your journey anytime you feel yourself coveting another.
How many times has the thought, I should know better, crossed your mind after experiencing the same lesson over and over and over again with little to know difference in the outcome?
You want to live differently, you try and try and at times even think you are only to be left exactly where you started doubting yourself, your circumstances, what you really want and how to get there. Exasperated once again stating the belief you have embodied in your mind, "WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME????"
The answer? Absolutely nothing! This is the conditioning of your inner being and not being in alignment with the laws of the universe. Whether you believe them or not they are REAL and scientifically backed by plenty of evidence.
Our minds are powerful and they store all of our experiences and thoughts whether we perceive them as positive or negative, good or bad along with the thoughts and beliefs of others creating a hardwired systems in our physical bodies to react in ways that become unconscious and quite comfortable, even when those feelings and experiences aren't. How?
Because everytime we have a thought we are unconsciously pulling from the library of information we store fueled by the emotion we are feeling at that very moment created by a memory we have. Often times this leads us in the direction we don't really want to go or if we try to go a different way it pulls us back in with chatter to keep us exactly where we are. It's from years and years of living disconnected. We are either completely unconscious to this behavior or we don't know how to get out of it because the habit, the pattern has become so ingrained as our inner being.
So, what now? Simple, notice your thoughts, acknowledge them and change the script right? The power of positive thinking and all that.
Well, not entirely. There is actual science behind the body / mind connection and how it all works and if it were all that easy we would all be doing this all the time (including me) but instead we beat ourselves up for not knowing better, for measuring our lives with things, what we've accomplished or not accomplished, what we want but don't have yet, what others are doing, we focus on all that isn't right in our worlds dreaming for the moment then focusing on how it's not happening fast enough or in the way we thought it should and the list goes on. We live in habitual patterns we have created. What we need to do is learn how to UNLEARN.
Let's start here. Life is supposed to FEEL GOOD. Start by focusing on the frequency of how something FEELS. Whether an experience, racing thoughts or a particular situation.
If it FEELS good you are in alignment - you know it just by the way you show up differently in your life. You're not trying to make anything happen, it just does.
But if it doesn't feel good, you are NOT in alignment with your inner being and the laws of the universe which can feel like trying too hard, confusion, uncertainty, doubt, worry, stress and even anxiety. Yuck, who wants that.
What's next? Stop beating yourself up as you learn. You didn't learn to walk in a day nor did you know how to eat with a fork, read, write or speak. It, as with everything else, takes practice. When you find yourself going down your rabbit hole or in the frequency of feeling out of alignment you can choose to take charge of it. (or not, but you know how that goes)
Where there is willingness there is a way. Experts say the best way to realign with your inner being and the laws of the universe is through meditation. Take a few moments each morning to quiet your mind and focus on the frequency of YOU. Count your blessing, dream your dreams and feel the vibration growing. The more you do this the more it becomes a habit increasing your ability to create the conscious awareness around noticing your frequency more and more throughout your day.
Learn to lean into your desires stating what you want not what you don't want. Notice and appreciate what you have not what you don't have. Stop asking how, when, where, and why and fully commit to the understanding that you get exactly what you think about whether you want it or not (past, present, or future)
When you begin the journey to creating conscious awareness to your own thoughts and behaviors and realigning your inner being with the laws of the universe everything is possible from living the life of your dreams to actively changing your ancestral fate so remember as we know better we do better and we have the ability to do better each and every day.
Kelly McCarthy is a passionate universal energy teacher, intuitive practitioner and insightful sacred speaker located in Litchfield County, CT. Though not a published author yet, once in awhile she feels called to write about something that speaks to her.